That Anxiety Guy - Straight Talk And Help With Anxiety, Panic And Agoraphobia

Send in a question or comment via text.This Is Chapter/Lesson 3.6 from my book "The Anxious Truth". I wanted to release a chapter to give everyone a look at what the book is all about.  This is likely the most important chapter I wrote, so it seemed the the best choice to release as a preview.For the full written chapter preview, go to theanxioustruth.com/108We’ve seen the three reactions that are driving that faulty brain link between fear and danger. The reaction before, the reaction during, and the reaction after. Now that we understand how they work; we can look at how to change them into something more straightforward and more effective. All by doing NOTHING.When we change our reactions to anxiety, panic, and fear before, during, and after episodes of high anxiety or panic, we set our brains on a new path. We weaken incorrect links and build new productive and positive connections. We leave wrong answers and bad cognitive habits behind while learning proper lessons and developing good brain hab

Send in a question or comment via text.Many people are struggling with letting go of anger, guilt and bitterness over time lost to anxiety. Learning to "forgive yourself" can be difficult.  While struggling with an anxiety disorder is certainly impactful in a big way, it is possible to learn how to change the habit of blaming yourself and revisiting guilt, anger, or regret over those struggles.  It is possible to learn how to leave the past behind us.For full show notes on this episode:https://theanxioustruth.com/107My Linkshttps://theanxioustruth.com/linksSupport The Anxious Truth: If you find the podcast helpful and want to support my work, you can buy me a coffee. This is never required, but always appreciated!Disclaimer: The Anxious Truth is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to The Anxious Truth does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the host or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have quest

Send in a question or comment via text.(For full show notes on this episode, visit https://theanxioustruth.com/106)Today I was joined by my friend Monique Koven to discuss the concept of feeling safe and secure.  Many victims of past trauma or abuse find that anxiety recovery is made more difficult because they are unable to ever feel safe or secure.  This is understandable, and it absolutely adds a wrinkle to the recovery process that must be addressed for these people.While your past experiences may have taught you that were not safe or secure, this does not mean that you are doomed to forever feel vulnerable in your life.  Abuse and abandonment may have left you with nobody to turn to for support when you needed it.  You may have taken those situations and carried them forward to conclude that you are always vulnerable and never on secure footing.  You may find it difficult to ever really feel safe.For the person wrestling with an inability to ever feel safe or secure, acknowledging why this happens is imp

Send in a question or comment via text.For many, the fear of driving on the freeway, highway, or motorway is a big problem.  Often I am told that this seems and impossible task.  A typical person facing this challenge will insist that driving at high speed on a congested highway, involves real danger.  They are convinces that disaster is imminent.This is not true, and represents yet another fear driven distortion, courtesy of our old friend anxiety. While highway driving is in fact more risky for every driver (regardless of anxiety), experiencing anxiety does not instantly rob you of the ability to operate a vehicle.  If you are reading this, you have survived every instance where you have experienced anxiety or panic while on a highway.  You didn't "almost crash" or "almost die" or "almost pass out".  You controlled your car, even when afraid and uncomfortable, and did what needed to be done to remain safe.What you thought was going to happen did not happen, so you must lea

Send in a question or comment via text.Today I was fortunate to have spent 25 minutes on a Zoom call with Dr. Ingvard Wilhemsen, a respected expert in the field of health anxiety and hypochondriasis from the University of Bergen in Norway.  We discussed the basis of health anxiety, what drives it, the underlying principles of uncertainty and safety, and some of the effective methods he uses when treating patients with health anxiety.Dr Willhemsen has been kind enough to offer to do a follow-up episode with us, so if you have questions or comments, please follow the links to any of my social media channels.  Feel free to reach out with whatever questions you might have and I'll do my best to get them answered in a coming episode.To learn more about Dr. Wilhelmsen or any of his work, you can Google him here.My Linkshttps://theanxioustruth.com/linksSupport The Anxious Truth: If you find the podcast helpful and want to support my work, you can buy me a coffee. This is never required, but always appreciated!D

Send in a question or comment via text.Inspired by a post I made on Instagram, here's 25 minutes or so on the difference between feeling OK and actually being OK.  The highlights: Your anxiety disorder has you in the bad habit of scanning and evaluating your state all the time Your anxiety disorder has you interpreting how you feel through a distorted lens of fear and misguided threat assessment You then make the mistake of nailing your assessment of how you FEEL, so your assessment of what you are capable of doingYou do not have to feel OK, to be OK.  You must be aware of the scanning and evaluating habit, and you must be aware of the mistake of equating how you feel to what you are capable of doing.  You must ACT even when feeling less than OK. You must show yourself through experience that thinking that you are not OK is incorrect, and that you are able to manage and live a normal day even when feeling badly.  The experience of doing this repeatedly will help eliminate the mistake you have been makin

Send in a question or comment via text.For full show notes on this episode:  https://theanxioustruth.com/102One of the two most common fears of anxiety and panic sufferers is the fear of going insane.  Losing one's mind.  Going crazy.  Many worry that they will "lose it", or "snap" when at the height of panic or extreme anxiety.  This is a difficult fear to face, but it remains an irrational fear that never comes true.The fear of going insane or losing one's mind is no different than the fear of dying, or passing out, or vomiting, or anything else.  The fear that you may lose your mind because of anxiety and panic is just another in the long line of irrational, distorted, magnified fears that come along with anxiety disorders.  Your catastrophe (going insane) is not special and does not warrant any special approach or technique to address.Episode Topics: There Is No "Sanity Control" To Worry About Anxiety and Panic Are Not Equal To Severe Trauma You Have Not Kept You

Send in a question or comment via text.For full show notes on this episode, go to https://theanxiousgroup.com/101Anxiety disorders are selfish disorders.  Anxiety and fear are self-centered and will push their way to the front of the line at all times.  When struggling with an anxiety disorder, the selfish nature of the disorder often makes you look selfish and self-centered.  The disorder is selfish.  You are not. Anxiety and fear drive self-centered behaviors in three ways:Disruption Based on AvoidanceAnxiety causes you to spend your time scanning for threats. Every situation is evaluated based on how it may make you feel.  Decisions are made based on the drive to avoid the feelings and thoughts that you hate and fear.  When your anxiety drives you to cancel engagements, avoid places and situations, and flee from discomfort, the change in your lifestyle impacts the people around you .... Becoming The Center of The UniverseAnxiety and fear will drive you focus on yourself continuously.  In any given situatio

Send in a question or comment via text.My friend Kendra Beavis has an amazing story.  This is a story about making major life changes, solving life problems, and become a better version of yourself.  So much of this is based on belief.  Belief in yourself, and belief in your ability to do hard things and make changes.We can't just choose change.  We can't just decide to believe in ourselves and be instantly confident.  Often we must take action to make the changes we want in our life even before we are confident taking action.  Meaningful progress and change isn't something you may believe you are capable right now, but that's OK.You don't get to be confident, and you don't get to believe in yourself by waving a magic wand. Belief and confidence are things we learn through action and experience. Belief and confidence are earned by doing the hard or scary things you might not think you can do. When we make the choice to move ahead even though you don't feel ready, amazing thi

Send in a question or comment via text.For full show notes on this episode: https://theanxioustruth.com/99We naturally develop habits with respect to the way we talk about, think about, and write about our anxiety problems. This is the habit of words, and it matters. Identifying unhealthy and counterproductive habits of words, then working to replace them with more recovery-focused habits is well worth the effort.The most common habit of words is the habit of constantly saying how you feel, what you're afraid of, and how much you hate it all.  This is the habit that most people in the grips of an anxiety disorder naturally develop.  This is a bad habit.  Constantly talking about, thinking about, and writing about what you feel is a form of safety and reassurance seeking. This is bad because it reinforces the mistaken cognitive connection between discomfort and fear.  If you are spending an inordinate amount of time telling people what you're feeling and experiencing in a passive way, you are hoping

Send in a question or comment via text.Full show notes for this episode are at https://theanxioustruth.com/98Telling someone in the grips of a raging anxiety disorder to "check in with themselves" is a TERRIBLE bit of advice.  If you are in the grips of a ranging anxiety disorder - finding it near impossible to STOP thinking about how you feel all the time - it's OK to reject this advice.While in the grips of raging disorders like OCD, health anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia, specifically making time to focus inward on how one is feeling is like pouring gasoline on a fire.  A person that is desperate to STOP paying constant attention to how they feel and what they think does not need to turn inward to see what they need.  What they need is to stop focusing inward.  The inward focus is driving their problem.  Telling this person that they need to check in with themselves to see how they're feeling is like telling an inmate to escape from prison by running back into the cell block. 

Send in a question or comment via text.Full show notes for this episode can be found at https://theanxioustruth.com/97Being in an abusive or controlling relationship is difficult for anyone.  Struggling with an anxiety disorder complicates things, making the situation even more difficult to handle. Statistics show that 1 in 3 women, and 1 in 4 men, will be involved in an abusive relationship at one point in their lives. This is a problem in the general population.  My experience in the anxiety disorders community leads be to believe that it is even more prevalent among people suffering from anxiety problems.  Today I was joined by Colleen Merlo and Wendy Linsalata of Long Island Against Domestic Violence.  Colleen and Wendy were kind enough to give their time to discuss the problem and answer questions posed in my Facebook group.Resources: National Domestic Violence Hotline (United States): 1-800-799-7233 National Domestic Violence Hotline web site: https://thehotline.org Long Island Against Domestic Viole

Send in a question or comment via text.For full show notes on this episode, visit https://theanxioustruth.com/96Perfectionism.  It's a label I hear frequently self-applied by many going through the process of recovering from an anxiety disorder.  Labeling oneself as a perfectionist results in challenges that make recovery more difficult than it has to be.Today I was able to spend time with Dr. Tara Sanderson, a licensed doctoral level psychologist practicing in Oregon.  Tara not only specializes in behaviorally oriented therapies for anxiety issues, but she has experienced the "curse" of perfectionism in her own life and has written a book on the topic.Changing and challenging perfectionism requires an understanding of why you may be labeling yourself that way and attempting to make everything right and perfect in the world.  Are you bolstering your self-image by wearing perfectionism as a badge of honor?  Are you convinced that making everything perfect will make life better or easier?  In bot

Send in a question or comment via text.For full show notes on this episode, visit https://theanxioustruth.com/95Just six months ago, Martine was experimenting with medication, housebound most of the time, and considering hospitalization to deal with her anxiety problem.  Today she is working, participating with her family, living a normal life, and looking forward to what comes next. Today Martine took some time to chat with me about how she changed direction and took control of the situation.  Where once Martine has no direction and no plan for recovery, everything changed when she decided to start doing things she was afraid to do.  Through repetition and incremental progress, everything changed.   Her message?  “Don’t give up.  It will get better!”Truer words were never spoken.  Thanks, Martine, for taking the time so share your story.Join my Facebook group and get involved in the discussion:https://facebook.com/groups/TAGForumMy website and all social links:https://theanxioustruth.com/linksIntro and outro

Send in a question or comment via text.For the full show notes on this episode including a link to the diaphragmatic breathing video I mentioned:https://theanxioustruth.com/93For many people, feeling dizzy or unsteady is one of the most enduring and difficult to deal with anxiety symptoms.  If you areThere are two main steps in dealing with dizziness and unsteadiness:1. Change the way you think about and talk about this sensation.  This isn't true physically debilitating dizziness that makes you literally unable to stand upright. This sensation is simply a feeling of visual and physical discomfort when moving through space.  You are uncomfortable when moving, but you are still able to move through space and function without impairment.  Being uncomfortable isn't ideal, but start to embrace the difference between incapacitated and uncomfortable.  They are not equal.  You are unsteady, which is uncomfortable for you, and you are likely reacting in fear to that discomfort.  When think about this issue,

Send in a question or comment via text.Monophobia - the fear of being alone - is a common component of the panic, anxiety and agoraphobia complex.  When left unchecked, panic disorder leads to agoraphobia.  When this happens, monophobia often develops at the same time.   If your coping mechanisms rely heavily on a "safe" person, or safe people, then you are more likely to develop monophobia.  Monophobics expend a great deal of effort and energy in an attempt to never be alone.  This can be VERY disruptive and impactful when it comes to daily life, and relationships with those people designated as safe or rescue people.  Monophobia is not a different or special kind of problem.  It's simply your fear of anxiety and related symptoms expressed in a given context - being alone and out of reach of your safe or rescue people.  This is simply the mistaken belief that you need someone to safe you from panic and its related sensations.  When deprived of that rescuer or rescuers, the monophobic perceives

Send in a question or comment via text.Worry and worrying are problems that many people struggle with along road to recovering from an anxiety disorder.  I'm asked to cover this topic again and again.  So ... a few words about worry and worrying.Full notes for this episode can be found at https://theanxioustruth.com/91Worry is simply thinking.  Thinking by itself has absolutely no impact on the real world.  Worry, therefore is not protective, predictive or proactive.  Worry does not keep you safe from disaster.  It does not keep bad things from happening.  It does not prepare you for when they do.  Worry is just thinking, and its not terribly useful.Worry is related to planning.  Planning is thinking accompanied by action.  When planning, we take our thoughts and transform them into real world actions required to respond to and react to real world events.  Planning is useful.  Planning is helpful.  We all plan in some way. Worry, on the other hand, is thinking WITHOUT action. Worry is half a plan and has

Send in a question or comment via text.One of the common worries while recovering from an anxiety disorder is the fear that it might "come back" after recovery.  This is something I hear from many many people.  It's also pretty common in the community surrounding the podcast to see people arrive that have been through these issues before. They thought had it all solved, but find themselves back in the grips of panic, anxiety and associated nastiness.The Acceptable Bubble - What Is It?This is closely related to what I've been calling the "acceptable bubble".  This is the bubble we build when we do the "recovery things", but we engineer them to do them without anxiety.  Often this means that someone has found a panic-free way to do all the required basic life things, then kinda stopped doing the work.  The hallmark of the "acceptable bubble" is the existence of limits and limitations in one's life.What Are The Signs Of An Acceptable Bubble?If you feel like

Send in a question or comment via text."What if I forget how to breathe?""What if I just stop breathing?""I can't get enough air in my lungs.""I can't take a deep breath."Breath and breathing focused anxiety is quite common among people that suffer from anxiety disorders like panic disorder and agoraphobia.  In this episode I discuss the two most common forms of this anxiety.For full show notes: https://theanxioustruth.com/89[1:30] "I Am Afraid That I Will Forget How To Breathe"The first is an obsession with the thought that you have to actively, manually breathe, or your body will somehow forget to breathe or you will stop breathing.  This obsessive, irrational thought may grip you during every waking moment, tricking you into thinking that you must stay involved in the process of breathing to avoid some horrible fate.[12:19] "It Feels Like I Can't Breathe.  I Can't Take a Deep Breath!"This is the second common form of breath and

Send in a question or comment via text.My friend Joyce joined me to talk about her slide into severe panic disorder and agoraphobia, which was followed by an aggressive recovery and rebuilding of her life.  Listen to Joyce describe her journey from being frozen in fear on her sofa to being back at work and feeling limitless.  Of particular note is the way Joyce used anger and frustration to fuel her recovery efforts. For many, this can be an excellent strategy and I really appreciate Joyce being so open and honest about how she was feeling and how it helped to propel her forward.  As always, comments and questions are welcomed.  I will do my best to relay any questions or messages to Joyce as they are asked.My Links (website, podcast, social. mailing list, etc.)----------------------https://theanxioustruth.com/linksSupport The Anxious Truth: If you find the podcast helpful and want to support my work, you can buy me a coffee. This is never required, but always appreciated!Disclaimer: The Anxious Truth is not