Whatever Happened To Pizza At Mcdonald's?

I lament the largely negative impact on my life of sharing a name with a health insurance CEO who was forced to pass away in an act of vigilante justice. Plus, I replay the results of my investigation into the story of the birth of Jesus "Christ" Christmas Ben-David.

I explore the many disturbing coincidences between my investigative journalism program (or IJP) and the assassination of a lesser-known and, frankly, lesser-beloved Brian Thompson.

In light of the assassination of another Brian Thompson very near my home, I go into hiding in one of New York City's most central parks and update my listeners via a live "proof of life" broadcast.

To celebrate American Thanksgiving, I plan to generously give away turkeys with cavities full of educational literature.

In an effort to broaden my outreach, I appear as a special guest on a popular conservative radio show to discuss my concerns about the deep state's conduct re: the McDonald's Pizza matter.

After a political realignment, I explore the possibility of accepting advertising dollars from a nootropics company. But a brain enhancement pill accident involving my dog has me concerned about a "Flowers for Algernon" type situation.

In part two of a special two-part event (and my record-breaking 350th episode), I am once again experiencing election anxiety, exactly as I did eight years ago, when I first became a devout Christian by calling a prayer hotline.

On part one of a special two-part event, I have named my new dog. But concern about his love of a devilish Halloween pet costume causes me to seek spiritual guidance.

I adopt a dog to aid me in my investigations. Plus, I look into a recent outbreak of E. Coli at McDonald's by mailing a laboratory a hamburger.

In preparation for my upcoming role as United States Pizza Czar, I assemble a uniform with the help of Brooks Brothers and the fine folks at Gorilla Glue.

While investigating the ongoing case of whether Kamala Harris really worked at McDonald's, I unfortunately break a cardinal rule of journalism by sending a source my nudes.

I give God Ben-David one more chance to answer my prayers by pleading with Him to remove violence from the hearts of humanity before I become a major political figure.

I investigate reports that Kamala Harris did not, in fact, work at McDonald's. In the process, I update my resume.

In light of recent McDonald's-related developments in presidential politics, I consider giving up my status as a journalist to become a government lackey.

While investigating reports that Vice President Kamala Harris may have worked at McDonald's, I seek valuable intelligence from another fast food chain owned and operated by nearly six guys.

While visiting the White House to lobby "lame duck" President Biden on passing executive action related to the McDonald's Pizza matter, I suffer an embarrassing accident for which I must extend a sincere mea culpa.

After a Hawaiian Breeze-scented oil explosion forces me to take several baths, my fingers become so pruny that my home security is put at risk.

After last week's electrocution incident, I update the Glade Plugins medical department on my recent doctor's visit and receive some startling disinformation vis-à-vis which of their products is safe to heat up on the stove.

My award-pending investigative series Sériàlle comes to an abrupt end, when I am threatened with legal action by a major local New York newspaper.

My investigation into mysterious McDonald's Pizza matters in Canada leads me to a floating McDonald's in Vancouver which once played host to a team of Dracula chasers.