Mom And Dad Are Fighting | Slate's Parenting Show

On this episode: Jamilah, Zak, and Elizabeth help a listener who feels like she’s constantly walking through a maze of toys and the piles of stuff just keep growing. Both her and her partner work a ton, which leaves little time to actually clean the house. But she’s the only one pitching in… Her partner and her two kids are “incapable of cleaning up after themselves.” She’s at her wits end and seriously contemplating pitching everything.  On Slate Plus, Jamilah, Zak, and Elizabeth discuss the Netflix show, Old Enough! Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Other recommendations:  Sister Song  Emily Ley’s Simplified Ruthless Declutter Challenge Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Jasmine Ellis.  Learn more about yo

On this episode: Zak and Elizabeth debate what to do about a bedtime battle. Our listener’s toddler is generally a great sleeper, but now her bedtime routine isn’t working anymore. If a kid is going to sleep early, does it mean they’ll be early to rise? How early is too early to put your toddler to bed?  Recommendations Elizabeth: Metaphor Dice  Zak: Takeya Cold Brew Maker Bonus Recommendations: Summer Brain Quest Books Run Towards the Danger: Confrontations with a Body of Memory by Sarah Polley Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Jasmine Ellis. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Elizabeth and Zak tackle a tricky question about a kid who has recently harnessed the power of swear words. He is weaponizing his words with an intent to hurt those around him and our listener has no idea what to do. Elizabeth and Zak offer up some practical advice for dealing with the in-the-moment anger, curbing the foul language, and ultimately making amends.  On Slate Plus, Elizabeth and Zak discuss hobbies that help them relax and rejuvenate. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Jasmine Ellis.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Elizabeth, Jamilah, and Zak expose the mini-monsters that parents accidentally create. They have some very fun—very scary—listener submissions. But honestly, who doesn’t need a snack for every car ride? Then Zak interviews comedian, dad, and podcaster Chris Garcia about his new show Finding Raffi. They talk about how Raffi captured kids’ ears and hearts, his lasting legacy, and how he’s changing parenting philosophies.  Recommendations Zak recommends finding little moments of joy like making a game out of chucking garbage into the can.  Jamilah recommends The Prophets by Robert Jones Jr. Elizabeth recommends the Ologies podcast  And, a bonus recommendation from Zak: His conversation with Rebecca Lavoie on The Best Advice Show podcast about knowing and communicating your weaknesses at work  Resources Finding Raffi by Chris Garcia Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk

On this episode: Elizabeth, Jamilah, and Zak take on a really difficult question from a mother who realized she has a favorite child. She loves her baby but doesn’t actually like her that much and she’s worried that her feelings toward her child are calcifying. What can she do to bond with her baby?  On Slate Plus, how to deal with picky eaters. Is it okay to eat the same meal day after day? What can you do to make new scary foods more palatable? What are your favorite ‘Trojan horse’ meals that allow you to sneak in nutrients without your kid knowing?  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Jasmine Ellis. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Elizabeth and Zak tackle a question from a listener who is stretched thin between work and her kids. She’d love to be a full-time parent but she’s worried she’ll not be as interesting if she does transition. What should she do? They also have some fun listener updates, including one who had a very unexpected and very funny confrontation about porn.  The hosts give recommendations that will help your kids have a memorable summer. But they’re not the only ones who deserve some fun. Grab your headphones because the podcast that Zak recommends will take you on an adventure.  Recommendations Elizabeth recommends the Best Summer Ever Camp Journal  Zak recommends the article, Finding Raffi by Sheila Heti, and the podcast, Finding Raffi by Chris Garcia.  Resources My First Book of Feminism (for Boys) by Julie Merberg Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future epi

On this episode: If you’ve noticed high school seniors stressing a little more lately, it may be because college decision deadlines are just around the corner. Zak and Elizabeth are joined by Slate’s Heidi Strom Moon to discuss how to support teens in their decision without overstepping. They answer a question from a dad who is currently trying to walk that line as his son is caught between his dream school and the school he can actually afford.  Resources:  Debt Nation: The faces and lives behind America’s student loan crisis by Rachelle Hampton.  The Price You Pay for College by Ron Lieber.  Paying for College by The Princeton Review and Kalman Chany.  On Slate Plus, Zak and Elizabeth dive into their Passover and Easter plans and discuss how to make religious-based holidays fun for kids.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary

On this week’s episode: Jamilah, Elizabeth, and Zak tackle a question from a listener whose child was recently diagnosed with ADHD. The letter writer’s husband, who also has ADHD, lacked support in school and it had a lasting impact on his education. They want to avoid history repeating itself for their daughter. How can they ensure she is properly supported and that she feels empowered by all the strengths that come along with ADHD.  The hosts also set intentions for the week and give recommendations that will make everyone happy. Who knew that a little water and soap could bring so much joy? Recommendations: Jamilah recommends Cheez-It Puff’d.  Elizabeth recommends the car wash.  Zak recommends C’mon C’mon.  Resources: What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew by Dr. Sharon Saline.  ADHD 2.0 by Edward M. Hallowell M.D. and John J. Ratey M.D.  Completely Matt: An ADHD Story by Justine Green.  My Whirling, Twirling Motor by Merriam Sarcia Saunders.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us

On this episode: Jamilah, Zak, and Elizabeth tackle body boundaries. Our listener has two little kids who are pretty comfortable doing things like sharing a bath or getting changed in the same vicinity. But something happened the other morning that has her worried. How can she teach consent and autonomy without creating any body shame?  On Slate Plus, they debate if parenting actually makes them happy. The article they discussed is called What Becoming a Parent Really Does to Your Happiness by Paul Bloom.  Resources:  HealthyChildren.org Sex Positive Families SexEdTalk’s Vaginas and Periods 101 Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Jasmine Ellis.  Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more about your ad choic

On this episode: Elizabeth, Zak, and Jamilah answer a question from a listener who is feeling left behind by her friends who are parents. She says she’s really tried to be supportive and isn’t receiving support in return, especially when she’s celebrating accomplishments like earning a PhD and publishing her first album. All of this has left her feeling that she’s worth less if she doesn’t have a kid. Is there a way to rekindle the relationships?  Recommendations:  Zak recommends watching The Lost Daughter.  Jamilah recommends picking up The Emergency: A Year of Healing and Heartbreak in a Chicago ER by Thomas Fisher.  Elizabeth recommends planting a window box with Back to the Roots or Kiwico.   Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.  Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at

On this episode: Elizabeth, Jamilah, and Zak tackle a classic dilemma. Should you pay your kids to help around the house? What chores are age appropriate and how can you tailor your expectations to different children? They also do a round of Triumphs and Fails and announce that Mom and Dad are Fighting is moving to a twice a week schedule. Episodes will come out on Mondays and Thursdays. On Slate Plus, they discuss whether or not you should pull elementary school students out of state-wide testing.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.  Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode: Jamilah and Zak are joined by Julie Kohler, a writer, gender justice advocate, and host of the podcast, White Picket Fence. First they tackle a question from a listener who is trying to figure out how to connect with her partner’s kid. Then they talk with Julie about the childcare crisis, which she focused on for the latest season of her show. She explains why the US is still so far behind in terms of implementing care economy policies and what supports should be in place to make parenting more manageable. On Slate Plus, they discuss the viral “husbands in training” TikTok.  Recommendations: Julie recommends Turning Red.  Zak recommends Chili Onion Crunch.  Jamilah recommends SpoiledChild’s S24 Rapid Recovery Hair Mask  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment

On this week’s episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth answer a tricky question from a parent who doesn’t have a relationship with her father for a good reason. But now that his health is failing, she’s wondering if she should introduce him to her daughter. Then, they tackle how to make school drop-off smoother. On Slate Plus, they discuss Jessica Grose’s piece, I’ll Say It Again: There’s More Than One Way to Raise Kids Who Thrive, and dish on what philosophies they use in their own parenting.  Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends Making a Great Exhibition by Doro Globus  Jamilah recommends filling out your manufacturer’s warranty.  Zak recommends Life on Earth by Hurray for the Riff Raff.  Bonus recommendation: Pregnant Pause.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each wee

On this week’s episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth answer a complicated question about a listener with family ties to Russia who is seeking advice on how to explain to her young children the invasion of Ukraine and how to help them handle the schoolyard teasing. Then, how to keep your toddler entertained in the stroller on the way to school. This family is looking to up their game on the 25 min walk to school. And on Slate Plus, what's one silly, or serious thing that we should implement to make parents' lives better. The hosts weigh in with our ideas.  Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends Melon’s House Party Jamilah recommends The new Saved By The Bell Zak recommends Better Things Listener-recommended Resources: How To Hug a Porcupine Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Zak Rosen. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF eac

On this bonus episode from our friends at Slate's The Waves podcast: We’re talking about infertility treatments–and what happens when they don’t work. The Waves producer Cheyna Roth shares her personal struggles and talks about going through IVF with Slate’s Dear Prudence columnist, Jenée Desmond Harris. They talk about what they wished they had known before starting IVF, how to be a good friend of someone experiencing infertility, and Jenée offers advice on how to cope with IVF. Later in the show, Cheyna talks to author Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos about the ethics of the infertility industry, what to say to a loved one who is going through treatments, and what it means to be an “IVF survivor,”  In Slate Plus, Cheyna and Jenée talk about the slippery slope to IVF and its high price tag. And Slate’s Lili Loofbourow shares what happened when she tried to get insurance to cover IVF. Additional Reading:  “An IVF Survivor Unravels ‘Fertility’ Industry Narratives,” by Pamela Tsigdinos  “Would You Tell Someone You We

On this bonus episode from our friends at Slate's How To! podcast: Janey is the very definition of a woman trying to “have it all.” She’s an occupational therapist by day, a ghost writer for influencers by night and in between co-hosts a podcast. On top of that, she has two sons who play travel sports and a husband who works long hours. It’s left Janey wondering if she’ll ever catch her breath. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Amy Westervelt, who’s no slouch herself. She’s a journalist, host of the award-winning podcast Drilled, a busy mom and author of the book Forget “Having It All”: How America Messed Up Motherhood, and How to Fix It. She shares with Janey how trying to “have it all” almost left her with nothing. It’s advice that all of us can use to rebalance our lives and reprioritize what’s important.  Check out Amy’s invisible labor calculator.  If you liked this episode, check out “How To Advance Your Career By Quitting Your Job.”  Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at

On this week’s episode: Dan is back from book leave and has an announcement. Dan, Jamilah, and Elizabeth answer a wild question about a teen asking if her mom has “vanilla sex.” How should the parent respond to an intensely personal question like that? Then Elizabeth and Jamilah pepper Dan with questions about his time on the show, including his biggest regret. On Slate Plus, if you could swap bodies w/ your kid for a day—Freaky Friday style—would you?  Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends When Stars are Scattered by Omar Mohamed and Victoria Jamieson.  Dan recommends Turning Red.  Jamilah recommends season two of Love Is Blind.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more a

On this week’s episode: Elizabeth, Zak, and Jamilah tackle a question from a parent worried that tense homework sessions are fracturing her relationship with her daughter. When should you keep pushing your kid so they succeed and when should you back off? Then, they’re advising a parent who is simply burned out. It’s something a lot of parents are feeling and they’ve got some tips to make life a little more manageable. On Slate Plus, they’re juggling stressful sports schedules.  Recommendations: Jamilah recommends Abbott Elementary.  Zak recommends making your own everything seasoning.  Elizabeth recommends a visual timer.  Extra Credit!:  Boom Goes the Dynamite Prodigy Education Game  Math Rush Waldock Way's best math games  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adch

On this week’s episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth answer a complicated question about navigating unwanted attention—especially if the attention may be chalked up to a child’s appearance. Then they are joined by Deborah Farmer Kris, parent educator, education journalist, children’s book author, and founder of Parenthood365. They talk about how to help kids identify and manage their emotions—and what parents can learn themselves in the process. Check out Deborah’s new book I Love You All the Time. On Slate Plus, they discuss Just How Helpful Is Childhood Therapy? by Melinda Wenner Moyer.  Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends Night Zookeeper. Jamilah recommends Hey Girl! empowerment journal. Zak recommends Teen Lives, Interrupted by COVID.  Listener-recommended Resources: Judi's House resources When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death When Someone Very Special Dies Help Me Say Goodbye Love is Forever Lifetimes The Invisible String  Finding the Words If you want to listen to the original question, he

On this week’s episode: Jamilah, Zak, and Elizabeth dive into the complicated world of cotillions. A listener is wondering if she should enroll her biracial daughter if all of her friends are participating. Kristen Richardson, author of The Season: A Social History of the Debutante, joins to give some wonderful context and advice. They then tackle a question about sending a toddler to summer camp. On Slate Plus, they’re daydreaming about family vacations. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Recommendations: Zak recommends one piece SORRY! Elizabeth recommends the L.L.Bean Sonic Snow Tube.   Jamilah recommends Tinder Swindler.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.f