Mom And Dad Are Fighting | Slate's Parenting Show

On this week’s episode: Dan, Jamilah, and Elizabeth debate the advantages and risks of adding families into their quarantine bubble. Social distancing guidelines and epidemiologists have warned about increased risk of catching Covid-19 with increased exposure to others. But what if absolute social distancing isn’t working for your family?  For the Everyone is Fighting Now segment, the hosts answer a question from a listener who is worried her daughter is more convinced than ever that her imaginary dragon friend is real. Dr. Stephanie Carlson, Distinguished McKnight University Professor and Director of Research at the Institute of Child Development at the University of Minnesota, joins the hosts to determine if the letter writer should keep interacting with the dragon. If you’d like to listen with kids that can handle a conversation about make-believe friends, zip ahead to about 41:00. Or if you are listening to the Plus episode, go to 35:45. For Slate Plus, how helpful are coronavirus specials, like Elmo’s

On this week’s episode: Dan, Jamilah, and Elizabeth advise a mom whose son’s “mommy-only” phase isn’t helped by the fact that her husband doesn’t like little-kid games. How can he engage while being entertained? Plus, Dan tells a story about theater, college decisions, and the importance—or unimportance—of due diligence. It’s our Everyone Is Fighting Now segment this week, and it’s best for teenagers. To listen to Everyone Is Fighting Now, zoom ahead to 33:30. Or if you are listening to the Plus episode, go to 27:37. For Slate Plus, how do you respond when your child calls you stupid for the first time? Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now to listen and support our work. Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends creating a Covid-19 time capsule with your kids so, years from now, they can reflect on this period.  Jamilah recommends EasyWash Mobile Washer to help remove dirt when you are hand washing your clothes.  Dan recommends hanging a hammock, perfect for when yo

On this week’s episode: Jamilah and Elizabeth are joined by Rumaan Alam to discuss splitting custody during coronavirus. Can one parent, concerned about safety, keep the child without first discussing it with their co-parent? How can this issue be resolved without escalation?  For our new family-friendly segment, Everyone Is Fighting Now, the hosts are joined by Megan Ryder Sanders, a zookeeper at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado. Megan answers questions from kids, including: how the animals are doing, if zookeepers are being paid, and how much elephants eat. To listen to the family-friendly segment zoom ahead to 39:00. Or if you are listening to the Plus episode, go to 34:30. For Slate Plus, we answer a question from a listener whose three year old is NOT warming up to her new baby brother. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now to listen and support our work. Recommendations: Jamilah recommends ensuring that the actions you take while staying at home benefit

On this week’s episode: Dan, Jamilah, and Elizabeth discuss updating your will. It’s important to have an updated contingency plan in these uncertain times. But how can you be sure if you are leaving your kids to the right people? They also answer a letter from a mom who is going stir crazy after a few days at home with her child. How can parents be stimulated while playing, sometimes boring, games with their kids? For Slate Plus, we have quarantine schedule mutiny! We’ll hear from the mom who received a three page letter of protest AND the son who wrote the manifesto. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now to listen and support our work. Recommendations: Dan recommends A Hard Day’s Night, the 1964 Beatles documentary. Jamilah recommends dating apps, especially if you are looking for a male partner. Quarantine is forcing them to up their convo game. But steer clear of those looking for quarantine buddies. Elizabeth recommends raising caterpillars, ladybugs, and p

On this week’s episode: Dan, Jamilah, and Elizabeth discuss parenting anxiety. Is it OK for a letter writer not to be overprotective? Or does parenting anxiety keep children safe? They also answer a letter from a woman whose stepdaughter is struggling on the other side of the country. How can you help when you’re so far apart? For Slate Plus: Dan, Jamilah, and Elizabeth turn their host mics over to THEIR KIDS! The mini-hosts tell us what they like and don’t like about staying home with their parents. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now to listen and support our work. Recommendations: Jamilah recommends requests that you stay in the house and pay attention to the news. Please, please, stay in the house. Elizabeth recommends A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood: The Poetry of Mister Rogers by Fred Rogers and Luke Flowers. Perfect for poetry tea time in your house. Dan recommends reading to your kids, even if they may seem a smidge too old. He’s reading The Hitchh

On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by official third host of Mom and Dad are Fighting… Elizabeth Newcamp! They discuss their new homeschool schedules and Elizabeth gives Dan and Jamilah tips on how to make their plans attainable, especially since they are also working from home. For Slate Plus: TV shows and movies for quarantine entertainment that will entertain kids and parents alike. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now to listen and support our work. Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends practicing gratitude within the home by writing notes to your partner or writing down a few moments at the end of the day with your kids. Dan recommends a label maker. Great for when your milk really needs to be labeled COW JUICE.  Jamilah recommends reading “America Is a Sham” by Dan Kois.   Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas for what we should talk about i

On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Carvell Wallace to discuss how the Coronavirus has been impacting their areas and what they are going to do if their schools resort to online learning. We also ask Carvell YOUR catch-up questions, as posted on the Slate Parenting Facebook page! For Slate Plus: a listener question from a parent worried about her teenage son and stepson’s not-so-friendly competition for her affection. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now to listen and support our work. Recommendations: Carvell recommends family time, which we seem to be well on our way to, because we only really have each other. Dan recommends wallpaper. Not the wallpaper that requires messy paste. No, we’re talking the wallpaper that’s essentially a glorified sticker. Patterns everywhere!     Jamilah recommends getting your children involved in politics.   Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thoug

On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Emily Farranto to answer a question from a listener who works with kids and is thinking about having her own. Is constant contact with kids overwhelming? We also have a question from a mom whose son was hospitalized at 4 months after getting sick. But now her husband’s germaphobia is making daily life difficult. For Slate Plus: what forgotten historical figures would make the best costumes? Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now to listen and support our work. Recommendations: Jamilah recommends preordering the picture book Who Will You Be? by Andrea Pippins. Dan recommends Love Letter, a fun, fast card game great for two to four people.   Emily recommends Cowboy Magic, a concentrated hair detangler great for horses...and HUMANS!   Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future

On this week’s episode: Dan is joined by Elizabeth Newcamp and Gabriel Roth to answer a question from a mom debating whether her son should take her last name or her husband’s last name. Or they could hyphenate, but will that burden her son later in life? We also have a question from a dad whose son plays travel hockey, even though he sucks at hockey. For Slate Plus, Elizabeth tells us the truth about homeschooling. Sign up for Slate Plus. Recommendations: Dan recommends the graphic novel Snapdragon by Kat Leyh, which is about a girl in a small town who finds a witch in her neighborhood. Elizabeth recommends “Paint by Sticker” books, a great on-the-go activity. Gabriel recommends Music Is My Life: Soundtrack Your Mood With 80 Artists for Every Occasion by Myles Tanzer and Ali Mac. A book that introduces kids to different musical artists. Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Go

On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Elizabeth Newcamp to answer a question from a mom worried about her young kids’ safety at the park. Is it okay to tell off older kids for not playing nicely? We also have a question from a listener who is looking to have a child and wants to set healthy boundaries with her mother when it comes to discipline tactics and alcohol consumption. Plus, a BONUS question from a mother who doesn’t know if she can accept the money her parents set aside for her twins’ college fund. For Slate Plus: a discussion about the division of household labor. Have changing views toward gender equality actually affected who does what in the home? Sign up for Slate Plus. Recommendations: Jamilah recommends buying a journal to take with you on trips when children aren’t tagging along. During the trip write notes to them and get others you see to write notes. Then when you get back you have a lovely trip memento that they can read. Dan recommends Street Angel: Deadliest Girl Alive

On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Isaac Butler to answer a question from a mom trying to make up for a verbal slip in a moment of frustration. And we have a question from a mom who wants to fend off family pressure to baptize her child. For Slate Plus: a mini Mom and Dad are Fighting reunion! Dan talks to Allison Benedikt about her adventure taking Sam to the Westminster Dog Show. Sign up for Slate Plus here. Recommendations:   Dan recommends Every Kid Outdoors, a program that allows 4th graders to get into all federal lands for free.  Jamilah recommends Harlem's Little Blackbird: The Story of Florence Mills by Renee Watson and Christian Robinson.   Isaac recommends digging into the Sondheim back catalogue, specifically Company, with your kids.   Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 42

On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by poet, performer, and activist Staceyann Chin to field a question from a mom who’s worried she should give her son a year to grow before he starts kindergarten. Scott Brown, author of the YA novel XL and short guy, calls in to help. The hosts also discuss disproportionate expectations of maturity placed on black girls during childhood. For Slate Plus: a question from a mom wondering if she is can worry about her white son’s experience at a school that has predominantly black and Hispanic students. Sign up for Slate Plus here. Recommendations: Jamilah recommends The State of Black Girls: A Go-To Guide for Creating Safe Space for Black Girls by Marline Francois-Madden LCSW. Dan recommends the Newbery-winning comic New Kid by Jerry Craft. Staceyann recommends Ada Twist, Scientist by Andrea Beaty. Additional Reading: XL by Scott Brown. Why Won’t Society Let Black Girls Be Children? By A. Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez. Pushout: The Criminalization of Black G

On this week’s episode: A question from a mom who is feeling like the only parent at home due to her husband’s time-consuming commitment to assistant coaching a high school basketball team. Also, Jamilah wrote about her experience talking about Kobe Bryant’s death in this week’s Care and Feeding column. The hosts discuss Bryant, his daughter Gianna, and the challenge of talking about death with kids. During the discussion Elizabeth recommended two books: Margaret Wise Brown’s The Dead Bird and Melanie Watt’s Bug in a Vacuum. For Slate Plus, the hosts answer a second listener question from a mother-to-be wondering how she can preemptively set family boundaries with her eager in-laws. Sign up for Slate Plus here. Recommendations: Dan recommends an adhesive whiteboard to transform your non-magnetic refrigerator into a centralized family bulletin board. Just don’t forget to remove the plastic lining! Jamilah recommends Cartoon Beatbox Battles on YouTube. Elizabeth recommends Stick-lets - little silicone ring

On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Elizabeth Newcamp to answer a question from a mom with sons who is bothered when people ask her if she wants a daughter. While she loves having boys, the questions are annoying because, deep down, she thinks having a mother-daughter bond would be nice. They also answer a question from a mom looking for an appropriate way to ask parents if they keep guns in their house before letting her kids go over to play. For Slate Plus, Dan, Jamilah and Elizabeth play Would You Rather—parenting edition! Sign up for Slate Plus here. Recommendations: Dan recommends two games good for gaggles of tweens and teens: Exploding Kittens and You’ve Got Crabs. Jamilah recommends facilitating time between your kids and your child-free friends.  Elizabeth recommends starting a book of centuries, a living document where you and your kids can fill in important dates. It helps your kids understand where they fit within a larger timeline. You can also download a free version to fil

On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Care and Feeding columnist Nicole Cliffe. They answer a question from a mom whose brother’s suicide attempt is causing her to reevaluate her son’s relationship with his uncle. He’s recovering, but can she trust him to look after her eight year old? They also answer a question from a father whose kid regrets choosing an iPad over a Switch. Should he just break down and buy the Switch? And how can he teach his son that getting the next shiny thing doesn’t necessarily make you happy? For Slate Plus, special guest and Slate staff writer Ruth Graham discusses her parenting dilemma that included a highly anticipated trip and... barf? Sign up for Slate Plus here. Recommendations: Dan recommends two Oscar nominations for your tweens and teens: Knives Out and Parasite. Jamilah tossed in the Oscar-nominated short, Hair Love. Many art-house theaters screen the Oscar nominated shorts; so go see them in person. Jamilah recommends Trader Joe’s cauliflower products.

On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Laura Tisdel to answer listener questions. A mom wonders how to deal with the privilege disparity between her biracial black daughter and her white son after she noticed her son getting preferential treatment at daycare. Plus, a mom asks about taking the fall for her daughter when her daughter feels uncomfortable standing up to a friend. For Slate Plus, the hosts talk about the parenting vices they won’t be giving up in 2020. Sign up for Slate Plus here.   Recommendations: Laura recommends Rivers, Roads & Rails, a game where you collect pieces to make transportation pathways, plus Catherine Newman's list of her favorite games. Dan recommends Azul, a tile strategy game where you pretend to be building Portuguese tile art.   Jamilah recommends Surviving R. Kelly Part II: The Reckoning on Lifetime. Additional Reading: The Color Complex by Kathy Russell, Midge Wilson and Ronald Hall. In 2020, Skip Your Resolutions—Embrace a Vice by Slate Staff. Join us o

On this week’s episode: Jamilah is joined by former MADAF host Gabriel Roth to talk about their New Year’s parenting resolutions. Plus, they answer a listener question from a mom wondering if her husband’s napping is selfish. For Slate Plus, Jamilah and Gabriel compare the parents they thought they would be with the parents they actually are. Sign up for Slate Plus here.   Recommendations:   Jamilah recommends the Creatable World Deluxe Character Set, gender non-conforming dolls from Mattel.   Gabriel recommends building Lego sets with your kids, specifically the Hogwarts™ Whomping Willow™ Lego set. Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 424-255-7833.   Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.   Hosts Jamilah Lemieux is a writer, cultural critic, and communications strategist based in California. Gabriel Roth

From yelling at kids to teens gallivanting around Europe to breast milk taste tests, 2019 has been a year of wonderful questions and conundrums from you—our fellow parents. On this week’s special edition: our favorite moments from this year’s Slate Plus segments. If you like what you hear in this episode, sign up for Slate Plus.   Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 424-255-7833.   Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.   Hosts Dan Kois is an editor and writer at Slate. He’s the author of How to Be a Family and the co-author of The World Only Spins Forward. Jamilah Lemieux is a writer, cultural critic, and communications strategist based in California. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode: Jamilah is joined by Rebecca Lavoie to answer this week’s listener questions from moms contemplating changing schools because their biracial daughter is bothered about not fitting in, and a mother whose childcare provider is offering to do it for free. How can she ensure her neighbor is properly compensated for this service? For Slate Plus, Jamilah and Rebecca take advantage of Dan’s absence and respond to his article “The Decade in Dads” article with the Decade in Moms. Sign up for Slate Plus here. Recommendations: Jamilah recommends My Quotable Kid: A Parents' Journal of Unforgettable Quotes. Rebecca recommends recording your kids, stashing the audio away and surprising yourself with this self-made time capsule years later. Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 424-255-7833. Podcas

If you have any school-aged children in your life, you know that lockdown and active shooter drills have become a routine part of their school experience. These drills now take place in 95 percent of American schools. What you’re about to hear is a collaboration between Slate and The Trace, a nonprofit newsroom covering gun violence in the United States. It’s an audio project featuring firsthand accounts from kids of all ages about what it’s like to go through these drills. We hear a lot about school shootings, but we’re only starting to have a larger conversation about how they affect even those kids who may never go through one.  You can hear more from the students at slate.com/lockdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices