Ain't That Swell

With all eyes on Chopes and the Battle for Rippy Woz Finals qualification, we speak with the 2012 World Champ, 2012 Pipe Master and 2012 Tahiti Pro Runner-up Joel Les Parkinson to give us his insights on how things are gonna play out. Flip the muesli bar, open your ears and poor in that sweet nasally nectar!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Straya rejoice! Nathan "The Hog" Hedge has been announced as the replacement wildcard for Gabby Medina at the OuterKnown Tahiti Pro kicking off in a matter of days. Ya boy Smivvy caught up with the insatiable tube pig to get his take on how to stuff ya face with endless vishnu at the End of the Road, who he thinks will make a fist of qualifying for the Rippy Woz finals under such extreme pressure, and how he won't give two hoots playing spoiler if the opportunity comes his way – a 10 point hole is a 10 point hole after all! Go the Hoggy! Go you good thing! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it just us or is shit goin’ turbo bat shit crazy out there? This ep Smiv outruns the highway patrol in an unregistered shit box on the way home from Splendour. Swellpocalypse hmaaadman Max McGuigan gives us the inside word on dragging corn at Ours on the backside. We drop in on Lobby O’Brien at ANZAC lodge, Huntington Beach, where our Changaz Battlers are sharing a couch, a fridge, and a single roll of poo tickets. Cal Robbo calls in from Chopes and cops an all-time rev-up spray from ya boy Smivvy to get him over the line and into the Woz finals. There’s Goatwatch, Tulsiwatch, mondo cones galore with Loz Towner and we finally out the low-down dog who left an un-flushable cork in the SW house dunny the night Sally Fitz came to stay. Garn, into it ya mutts!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Born and bred in Byron Bay, Torren Martyn is the surfer and adventurer featured in the Lost Track series, which has taken him across Australia by car, New Zealand by motorbike, Europe, North Africa and West Africa by van, and now South-East Asia by yacht.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For 23 years Chris Shiflett has been lead guitarist for face-melting stadium monsters of rock Foo Fighters, but did you know he also spends Christmas with Jack McCoy? That he shreds the gnar with Kerby Brown and Dean Morrison whenever the Foos are in Oz? That he wants JJF to call him into a wave at Pipe? And did you know his corn is sparkling even after the worst Cali summer in years? That's right, he's a hmaaaad Swellian Corelord of the highest order and Deadly got him on the horn to talk SB, Curren, Cali Punk, Foos, surfboards and his latest single Long Long Year, which is out today. Rip it into ya pack of filthy mongrels!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Smivvy takes a trip to one of the most crowded prisons in the world to find out how Indonesian surf star, Agus Frimanto, ended up inside the day after the biggest win of his career. This article was first published back in 2012. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From Fiji to Chopes and on to Hawaii the former El Nina Swell-a-palooza has been upgraded to a full-blown Book of Revelations end-of-days Swellpocalypse! Thankfully Smiv and Deadly are on hand to guide you through the swirling biblical maelstrom of Pacific Ocean power and onwards to heavenly conical salvation... or they might just call you over the falls on the set of the day to scorpion face-first into volcanic fingers of reef. If that's the case, at least there's enough limes in hell to keep those cuts from cutting infected. Grit ya teeth and squeeze the juice Swellians. It hurts so good! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Load up ya mayo guns Swellians, the Strayan charge towards the WSL Finals continues with a most dominant display of rail shamanism and lip destructivism at cranking-itself Jeffreys. No wall left uncleavered by his holy majesty Ethan Heeeeeeyeeeewing on his way to a famous debut win. Go on... Blitzed yourself.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Smivvy Archives: The island of Bali is infinitely more complex and fraught with peril and perilous characters than most tourists ever get the chance to see. In almost three years of living there your boy Smivvy was gifted a rare and exceedingly raw insight into this island's unique blend of politics, corruption and old school tribal justice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

He's the CT rookie sensation who's gone from creasing props in park Rugby League to folding Medina in Brazilian CTs and with only two events left in the regular season he's well positioned for a charge into WSL Finals. He's Callum Robson and he sat down for a quick catch up with ya boy Smivvy live from J-Bay to talk about motivation, form, and results post cut-off. Hmaaaaad!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Children of the Corn Tour Episodes draw to a close with an evening of skitz real talk from the impact zones of Australia's most brutal slabs. Be held down at The Right, feel the impact of bone on rock at Cyclops and immerse your frontal lobes in the healing wisdom of two beloved Australian lords of core. A must-listen for the ages! UTFS!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The World Title favourites went Hmaaaaaaaaad in Rio, removing the gloves for a good old face slapping bonanza upon the rest of the dreamers who make up the Woz tours. But who got the best waves? Who surfed the best heat? And who melted like a backwards-over-the-falls-White-Chocolate-special in the land of the anal flossing dot thong? Smiv and Deadly investigate as only pure tour nerds can.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Come one, come all, come Steyne! Manly’s most famous and infamous Pub hosts Smivvy and Deadly 24 hours after Straya spear-tackled Scummo and his usless cronies into political oblivion at the Fed Election. And what a panel to help us celebrate. The Greatest of All-Time, 7 Time World Champ, Manly Royal and Swellian Queen Layne Beachley gets her grit right on alongside the newly minted Hall of Famer Joel Les Parko, and Brazilian Changaz-to-CT-back-to-Changaz cone pig sensation Joao Chumbinho Chianca. It’s here, it’s there, it’s everywhere, but mine for surf gold cause there’s a thick throbbing vein of it just waiting to get tapped. UTFS!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Join Smivvy & Deadly for a nauseating pro surfing deep dive and discover the ramifications of Grif and Steffy’s big wins in El Sav and what another near-miss for Toledo means for the Brazzo Storm as we train our lactating froth glands on final 3 events of the regular season. It’s pure tour nerdism at it’s nappy wetting finest! Bath in all its acrid burning glory.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lick your finger and stick it to the breeze, Swellians. The winds of change are-a-coming, as they say, and it fucken reeeeeeks! Indonesia’s answer to the Brazilian Storm, the rancid, disemboweling gut bomb is about to explode in the face of World Tour surfing and it’s not going to be pretty. We recount the skitz conings along Australia’s east coast and all across the Asia-Pacific. It’s cooking out there c**ts! The mighty St Mick of Penrith delivers yet another miracle to his sodden comrades. New York Times thinks it wrote the book on core all of a sudden. Full breakdown of a near-deadly Chopes boat wipeout, surf politics, Swellian questions and more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stick ya hand down ya Reg Grundies after a scorpion behind the rock and feel the pride of pure Aussie Grit between ya fingers as the Changaz-Series-All-Stars-come-elite-CT-Head-Kickers take to the stage at the Miami Marketta for a classic Sunday arvo of yarn spinning deluxe. Post Margies but pre Snapper, Manly and G-Land, there’s no doubting Strayan surfing is in good hands with these hmaaaaaaad bastards! UTFSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A mission to maxing Desert Point opens a window into the insane genius of asymetrical loon, Ryan Burch.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

At last it's here! When the Goat comes to Ain't That Swell Live you know you're in for a magic night of pure surf yarn glory! Highlights including: The Greatest Sporting Victory of All-Time at this year's Billabong Pipe Pro, The True Story behind Goat's Eddie win, why he was forced to apologise to Mick "He's that Fucken Good" Fanning and so so so much more. It's real, it's raw, it's one for the ages Swellians, rip in!. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's back to the mouldy old wormhole that is Deadly's garage for an ATS Classic that sees Smiv and Deadly tackle all the goings on from around the Oz leg of the world tour and the greater surfing universe, including Chippo vs Zeke, pro surfing's darkest day, the Woz v the WPS, Makua Rothman's run for office, the disconnect between the surf industry rolling around in piles of money and Matt McGillivray sleeping in his car, and why every Swellian should take a carrot to Our Sal's house at Gerroa and leave it on her front lawn in salutations to the Swellian Queen. UTFS! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There was more drama at Main Break than a day time soap marathon as the guillotine finally fell on the CT dismissing big names and rookies alike to the Challanger Series while elevating others to a glory run back-half of the season and a shot at the Woz finals. But it's really all about Jack Robbo, Bella Nichols, Neckbeard Florence and Gabriela Bryan who bashed, slashed and took flight to dominate the field in towering Indian Ocean swells! Warning: This is PURE TOUR NERDISM!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.