10% Happier With Dan Harris

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How much would your relationships improve if you could up your emotional intelligence game? That phrase, “emotional intelligence” or EQ, entered the lexicon over 25 years ago, when Daniel Goleman wrote a book by the same name.  In this episode, Daniel Goleman talks about the four components of emotional intelligence and how we can develop these skills in our daily lives.   Golman is a Harvard-trained psychologist who, along with other contemplative luminaries such as Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg and Jon Kabat-Zinn, went to Asia and discovered meditation in the 1960s— making it a huge part of their lives and careers.  In this episode we talk about:  The four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much during the middle of a pandemic  Empathy and relationship management in the age of zoom The “marshmallow test” and impulse control

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It’s completely natural when dealing with anxiety, depression, anger, shame, or any other unpleasant emotion, to just want it to go away. Guest Susan David says that these discomforts are the price of admission to being alive and offers an approach called emotional agility as a way to navigate them.  Susan David, Ph.D. is a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of a book called Emotional Agility. Her TED Talk on the subject has been viewed more than eight million times.  In this episode we talk about:  Her definition of emotional agility  The four skills of emotional agility Why she says our emotions are data, not directives How to move skillfully through a world that “conspires against us seeing ourselves” How to avoid emotional “fusion” The power of tiny tweaks And “emotional granularity”— what it is, why it matters and how to practice it  Full Shownotes: https://www.

The phrase, “Get over yourself” is often used in a flippant way, but it’s actually speaking to a deep human need to get out of our heads and off our own backs. At a fundamental level, this is what Buddhism is all about— seeing through the illusion of the self, which can be the source of so much of our suffering.  In this episode guest Pascal Auclair talks about how we can unlock this suffering through the use of a foundational Buddhist list called the five aggregates.  Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California, where he is now enjoying teaching retreats. Pascal teaches in North America and in Europe. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of their guiding teachers. In this episode we talk about:  How the five aggregates got Auclair hooked on Buddhist practice and philosophy The five aggregates as a

Our culture has oddly conflicting views about pleasure.  In this episode, author adrienne maree brown explores the importance of pleasure and how it changes your experience of the world.  adrienne maree brown is the writer-in-residence at the Emergent Strategy Ideation Institute, and author of Grievers (the first novella in a trilogy on the Black Dawn imprint), Holding Change: The Way of Emergent Strategy Facilitation and Mediation, We Will Not Cancel Us and Other Dreams of Transformative Justice, Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds and the co-editor of Octavia’s Brood: Science Fiction from Social Justice Movements and How to Get Stupid White Men Out of Office. She is the cohost of the How to Survive the End of the World, Octavia’s Parables and Emergent Strategy podcasts. adrienne is rooted in Detroit. In this conversation we talked about: What is pleasure activism The role of sex and drugs Why we should say yes more How to be in touch with o

In a culture that values persistent productivity, one can be left feeling chronically behind.  In this episode, author and recovering time management junkie, Oliver Burkeman  encourages us to stop scrambling to fit it all in by exploring the relationship between our mortality and getting things done.  Oliver Burkeman is the author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. Former guest Adam Grant has called it, “The most important book ever written about time management.” This is Oliver’s second appearance on the show. Burkeman joined us on the show a few years ago to talk about his other book, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. He also writes a bi-weekly email newsletter called The Imperfectionist. In this conversation, we talk about:  Why accepting mortality is a crucial step in improving our relationship to time His conviction that it’s not about being more efficient. It’s about knowing what to neglect Patience as a superpower and the impatience spiral The b

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. Our guest this week is Alicia Menendez, an award-winning journalist, who finds herself in a common position for many women: caring way too much about what others think of her. Be nice, but not too nice. Be successful, but not too successful. Just be likable, whatever that means. In the workplace strong women are often criticized for being cold, while warm women may be seen as pushovers. In her book, The Likeability Trap, and in this conversation, she discusses this issue and explains how and why both men and women should combat it. In this conversation, we talk about:  The aforementioned likability trap The structural imbalance in feedback for women and men in the workplace The things for men to consider as they engage with women in the workplace Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/alicia-menendez-212

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Sometimes part of healing trauma means learning how to be human.  This episode is the last episode of our Mental Health Reboot series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. Dr. Jacob Ham, who was introduced in Stephanie Foo’s episode earlier this week, helped Stephanie through her case of complex PTSD and discusses how to live with the hardest things that have happened to you.  Dr. Ham is the Director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience and Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. He sees children, youth, adults, and families across the age range and for a variety of issues.  In this episode we talk about:  What Dr. Ham says may be the “most important thing he’s discovered” as a therapist Why he shuts down his clients’ attempts to intellectualize their experiences Kairos versus kronos  Why Dr. Ham says the Incredible Hulk i

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We’ve all had difficult, and sometimes horrible things happen to us.  While some people may be luckier than others, it’s rare that anyone goes unscathed. This episode is part of our Mental Health Reboot series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.  In this episode, Stephanie Foo shares her story of being diagnosed with complex PTSD and how she learned to process her trauma and live with her past. The result of her journey is a new book called What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma.  Stephanie Foo is a journalist and radio producer. Her previous work includes This American Life, The Cut, Reply All, and 99% Invisible. Her writing has been featured in The New York Times and Vox.  In this conversation we talk about:  The various therapies, meditation styles, and wellness modalities Stephanie explored to help process her trauma What actually worked for her, and how

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Very few of us will live a life without loss.  As part of our Mental Health Reboot series in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, this week’s episodes talk a lot about grieving. Mary-Frances O’Connor, an expert in bereavement research, explores the science of how we grieve and experience loss, whether it’s a job or a loved one.  Mary-Frances O'Connor is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona, where she is also the Director of Clinical Training. And she is the author of a book called The Grieving Brain. In this episode we talk about:  The distinction between grief and grieving How her Buddhist practice has influenced her understanding of grief Whether or not we can ever quote/unquote “get over it” Why she argues for “a really big toolkit of coping strategies”  How to understand the work of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross today What gr

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- There is an unstoppable flow of gain and loss within our lives.  Processing this flow helps us to develop equanimity. In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winner and New Yorker staff writer Kathryn Schulz discusses her new book Lost and Found: A Memoir, in which she explores experiencing both a huge loss anda huge gain, and how to live in a world where both happiness and pain commingle.  In this episode we talk about:  How humans experience grief A gift you can give to the grieving Why she loves the clichés that remind us to enjoy the moment Her broad understanding of the term “loss” Why the key word in ‘lost and found’ is “and”  What she’s learned about compromising in relationships Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kathryn-schulz-449

How do you find hope in a lifetime that has experienced more trauma than most?  Guest Jonathan Van Ness says that the key is to stay curious and focus on happiness and joy, even if it’s just in a tiny corner. Jonathan Van Ness is a hairstylist by trade and best known as one of the hosts of the Netflix series Queer Eye. He is also the author of Love That Story and the New York Times bestselling memoir Over the Top, and the host of the podcast Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness.  In this episode we talk about:  The universality of processing grief What a “window of tolerance” means  Getting curious about shame Body dysmorphia JVN’s complex and contradictory feelings about shopping What “parts therapy” or Internal Family Systems therapy is Setting boundaries Connecting and cultivating joy  Content Warning: Explicit language and mentions of sexual abuse, substance amuse, body dysmorphia, and references to sex. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-van-ness-447

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How does hope work?  In this episode from the archives, Rutgers University clinical psychologist Dr. Jacqueline Mattis discusses hope from a scientific perspective and how we can cultivate it.  Dr. Mattis, who is also a Dean of faculty at Rutgers, did not start her career wanting to study hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity, specifically concentrating her field work and interviews in African-American and Afri-Caribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high stress conditions so often choose to be good and compassionate. And that research ultimately led her to hope. In this episode we talk about:  How her family history influenced her relationship to optimism and faith  The difference between spirituality and religiosity  The benefits of hope and skills to cultivate it The ways hope can go wrong And the benefits of denial Full

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- If you’re trying to improve your sleep, thinking about doing so right before you get into bed might not be the best approach.  Dr. Sara Mednick, is a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of California, Irvine, and the author of the new book The Power of the Downstate. This episode is part of our month-long “Mental Health Reboot” series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.  According to her research, Dr. Mednick says that we need to take a more holistic approach to getting better sleep, and that sleep is just one of the ways that our bodies rest and restore.   In this conversation, we talk about: The nuances of napping Dr. Mednick’s definition of the “downstate” Whether there are practices that can compensate for poor sleep Why heart rate variability is an important measurement of health Why sex is so helpful for sleep And when to take melatonin to best effect Full Shownotes

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Sleep may be the apex predator of healthy habits, so why are so many of us getting terrible sleep?  Guest Diane Macedo launched a very detailed personal investigation in order to fix her sleeping habits and joins us for the first episode of a month-long “Mental Health Reboot” series we’re doing to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.  Diane Macedo is the author of the new book The Sleep Fix: Practical, Proven, and Surprising Solutions for Insomnia, Snoring, Shift Work, and More. As an ABC News anchor and correspondent, she appears on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and Nightline. She’s also the daytime anchor for ABC News Live.  In this episode we talk about:  Key signs that you’re not getting enough sleep Do sleeping pills really work When and how to find a sleep specialist How to deal with performance anxiety around sleep  The difference between sleep deprivation and insomn

Can you become happier, more balanced, and practice equanimity without losing your edge?  Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan’s first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own.  Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein’s first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she’s been training with another Burmese master we’ve talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary. In this conversation we talk about:  What is equanimity? The most common misconception about equanimity The near and far enemies of equanimity  The

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Why is it that many men seem unenthusiastic about discussing body image issues?  We take a deep dive into this topic with Aaron Flores, a Los Angeles-based registered dietician and nutritionist, and one of the few men very active in the space of intuitive eating. Aaron talks about how capitalism ties our weight to our worthiness, and his notion that “our body is not a project.”  In this episode we also discuss:  What intuitive eating is How men experience body image issues, and why they often don’t talk about it  The relationship between diet culture and capitalism  What “health at every size” means and why it’s sometimes controversial Guidelines for parents  The role of self-compassion when it comes to food  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/aaron-flores-441

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Many of us find our minds flitting all over the place, in meditation and elsewhere. In today’s episode we’re going to learn practical techniques for boosting concentration on and off the cushion. This is the second episode in a two-part series on focus we are airing this week. Today’s guest is an Olympic-level concentrator who has tons of tips for staying focused. We also talk about one of the more exotic meditation subjects: The altered states of consciousness called the jhanas that are available to advanced meditators who can attain deep states of concentration.  Shaila Catherine is the founder of Insight Meditation South Bay, a meditation group in Silicon Valley. She has been practicing meditation since 1980 and has more than nine years of accumulated silent retreat experience. She’s the author of Focused and Fearless: A Meditator’s Guide to States of Deep Joy, Calm, and Clarity. In t

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- What is it about modern life that is completely disrupting our ability to focus, and how much of it is our fault?    Turns out, not a lot. A number of factors from technology to our sleep habits, and even air pollution, play a role in what causes us to have about the same attention regulation skills as a kitten. In this first episode of our two-part series on focus, guest Johann Hari breaks down why our ability to pay attention is collapsing, and what we can do about it.    Johann Hari is the author of Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention – and How to Think Deeply Again. His first book, Chasing the Scream: the First and Last Days of the War on Drugs was adapted into the Oscar nominated film The United States Vs Billie Holiday as well as a documentary series.    Johann is also the author of Lost Connections: Uncovering The Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions which

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- What if one of the keys to happiness is how intentional you are with your time? Ashley Whillans is an Assistant Professor at Harvard Business School and author of the book Time Smart. Her groundbreaking research has led her to radically reevaluate how she spends her own time. Her goal is to help you move from time poverty to time affluence. In this conversation, we talk about:  How to do a time audit Funding time, finding time, and reframing time The surprising extent to which prioritizing time over money predicts happiness–and what to do if you usually do the opposite How to handle “time confetti” The value of canceling meetings Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ashley-whillans-repost-318

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Often, we are our own worst critic. In this episode, Buddhist monk Ajahn Sucitto explores ways to unseat the inner tyrant and make peace with the nagging voice inside of you that seems to always demand perfection, but never offer praise.  Ajahn Sucitto was raised in the United Kingdom and became a monk in 1975 in the lineage of the Thai forest master, Venerable Ajahn Chah. In 1979, he helped establish Cittaviveka, also known as Chithurst Forest Monastery, in West Sussex, England where he still lives.  In this episode we talk about:  Strategies for addressing our inner critic Why we shouldn’t operate at 100%  The foolishness of turning our minds into courts of law The Buddhist precepts (or ethical guidelines) And the essential nature of sangha/community Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ajahn-sucitto-437