10% Happier With Dan Harris

In this session from Oren, learn how to use meditation to become less reactive and more open in relationships, conversations, and your life. To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Curiosity without Judgment,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=26d7d194-8d16-4a6f-91e5-b1f07345abc8. Of course, if you don't have the app, you can download the Ten Percent Happier app today, for free: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. About Oren Jay Sofer: Oren Jay Sofer teaches mindfulness, meditation and Nonviolent Communication. He has practiced meditation since 1997, beginning his studies in Bodh Gaya, India and is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto, and is a graduate of the IMS/Spirit Rock Teacher Training program. Oren teaches retreats across the country and works as Senior Program Developer at Mindful Schools, teaching and developing curricula for one of the international leaders of mindfulness in educatio

In a previous interview with Dan, the Dalai Lama said something along the lines of, “everyone’s selfish; that’s the way we’re wired. But if you’re going to be selfish, you should be wisely selfish.” Wise selfishness takes into account the fact that what really makes humans happy is to care for other people. This notion has been a central part of the Buddhist platform for millennia, but is now being borne out in scientific research.  Today’s guest is Emiliana Simon-Thomas. She is the science director of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, where she is a co-instructor of its Science of Happiness online course. In this conversation, Emiliana talks to us about the difference between empathy and compassion, how we can be happier by being more compassionate and connected, what we misunderstand about love, and a more scientific definition for that culturally loaded term. Just to note -- this is a re-run of an older episode we pulled out of our vault for a few reasons:  1) It’s summer and we want to give

We’ve been meaning to tackle our relationship to 'stuff' for a while now. This subject can go deep. It’s not just about decluttering (although that can actually be pretty substantial work); it’s about rethinking your whole life.  Recently we spoke to a pair of gentlemen known as The Minimalists -- whose names are Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus. They’re perhaps best known for their documentaries on Netflix: “Minimalism” and “Less is Now”. They also have a very popular podcast and have written a series of books. Their latest book, “Love People, Use Things”, comes out this month. In this episode, we talk about their powerful and painful personal path to Minimalism; the freedom that they say comes from living with less; how to actually do Minimalism; and the pitfalls of the path.  And as a bonus pairing, we’ve brought back a Ten Percent Happier favorite, Oren Jay Sofer. Oren is a renowned Buddhist teacher who has been meditating for nearly a quarter of a century. As part of his training he spent over tw

Self-compassion is powerful, but it's not always easy to acknowledge your own pain. This meditation helps you default to compassion. To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Self-Compassion,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=0ee0c676-4215-4d7f-9b0d-9129a3d79a5b. If you don't have the Ten Percent Happier app, you can download it today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. About Joseph Goldstein: Joseph is one of the most respected meditation teachers in the world -- a key architect of the rise of mindfulness in our modern society -- with a sense of humor to boot. In the 1970's, he co-founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Since its founding, thousands of people from around the world have come to IMS to learn mindfulness from leaders in the field. Joseph has been a teacher there since its founding and continues as the resident guiding teacher. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/p

Today's episode is a deep dive into the male operating system and how it can be upgraded. Today's guest, Daniel Ellenberg, is a psychotherapist, marriage and relationship therapist, author, and facilitator. He has been leading men’s groups for over 30 years and is the new sitting president of the American Psychological Association's “Division 51: Society for the Psychological Study of Men & Masculinities." In this conversation, Dr. Ellenberg explains: what masculinity actually means; what prevents men from forming bonds with other men; “traditional masculinity ideology”; why men die earlier than women; the importance of self-compassion for men; and how to be a good role model as a dad, friend, and fellow man.    Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/daniel-ellenberg-361 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There’s a widely held assumption that if you have a warmer, friendlier relationship with yourself, you will not only slack off and be ineffective, but also that you will be a doormat. My guest today says: not true. She’s making the case that self-compassion, when properly understood, can lead to a kind of ferocity. It can help you stand up for yourself and others.  Kristin Neff is the central pioneer in the field of self-compassion research and her work has had a massive impact on me and my own work. She is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She’s the author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, and now she has a new book, called Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.  This conversation is for everyone, whether you identify as a woman or not. These concepts are universal, although, as you will hear Kristen argue, there is special importance for women. And speaking o

The struggle to keep up in the era of social media is universal. Bring compassion to your inner critic & release the delusion of perfection. About Leslie Booker: Booker brings her heart and wisdom to the intersection of Dharma, Embodied Wisdom, and Social Justice. Much of her work has been supporting incarcerated and vulnerable youth populations. To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Taming Your Inner Critic,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=2789fd7d-8427-4956-9378-0f01d59238c4. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today we have some counterintuitive relationship advice. If you’re in a tough spot with your loved one, why would you want to have a deep chat about religion, politics, work, or your eating habits? Wouldn’t that just make everything worse? My guest today says asking these hard questions is exactly what you should do.  Susan Piver is a fan favorite in TPH-world. She has been a practicing Buddhist for more than a quarter-century. She’s a graduate of a Buddhist seminary, founder of The Open Heart Project, and a New York Times bestselling author of many books, including How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life. This month, she’s releasing a revised and expanded edition of her blockbuster book, The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do.” This book started out as a relationship tool for recently engaged couples, but it’s taken on a much broader life. You can use it if your long-term relationship has hit a snag, if you’ve recently broken up with someone and want to understand why, or if yo

Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 4: Welcome to the final episode in our Taming Anxiety Series! Today's guest, Leslie Booker – who goes by "Booker" – is one of America’s leading dharma teachers. She began sharing the practice with vulnerable populations back in 2005 and is a graduate of three different training programs at Spirit Rock, including their four-year Retreat Teacher Training Program. In this conversation, Booker will make the case that one of the most important, even life-saving, tools when it comes to dealing with anxiety is our ability to connect with our communities. She also brings our attention to yet another Buddhist list – the “three characteristics.” And she explains how bringing awareness to our bodies can help settle us in our most anxious moments. This, I should say, is something she’s worked on with me personally. If you’d like to see that, you can actually do so, because we filmed it as part of our new Taming Anxiety Challenge, a ten-day meditation challenge which begins today over in th

Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 3: As we move into summer and more and more vaccines go into arms, your town or city (or state or country) may soon be opening back up, if it hasn’t already. Some of us are ecstatic. A lot of us are anxious. (And by the way, those are not mutually exclusive. It’s totally possible to be both.) If the thought of large crowds or even small dinner parties makes your palms sweat, don’t worry. You’re not alone. (And if this was true for you even before the pandemic, you’re not alone there, either.) Our guest today is here to help.  Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who specializes in anxiety and social anxiety and serves on the faculty at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. She is the author of How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. In today’s episode she explains how to increase your tolerance for uncertainty; how and why social anxiety has gotten worse since the start of the pandemic; and, what you can do to fa

Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 2: Anxiety is very common -- but also commonly misunderstood. So today we’re doing a show that you might think of as: Everything You Wanted to Know About Anxiety (But Were Afraid to Ask). This is the second episode in a four-part series we’re calling “Taming Anxiety.” (By the way, if you missed the first episode, with pop-star/Broadway star/sitcom-star Sara Bareilles, I strongly recommend checking that out.)  Today, though, we are diving into the science of anxiety with Dr. Luana Marques. Luana is an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, President of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, and the author of Almost Anxious: Is My (or My Loved One’s) Worry or Distress a Problem? You might also recognize her from this show, because she was also our very first guest on the topic of Covid, way back in March of 2020, in an episode titled “How to Handle Coronavirus Anxiety.” In this episode, Luana will explain, from a scientific perspective, what anxi

Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 1: Today is a big day here on the podcast, both because we have a fantastic new episode, and because this episode is actually kicking off a series we have been wanting to produce for a long time, called “Taming Anxiety.”   Anxiety is a massive issue in our society. Even before the pandemic, it was on the rise. Now, the situation is even worse. Chances are it has afflicted you or someone you love at some point, on some level: maybe you’ve received an actual diagnosis, like generalized anxiety disorder, or maybe you’re prone to symptoms closer to panic, or perhaps you’re just susceptible to a bit too much garden-variety worrying. Maybe your kids are increasingly anxious. Or maybe, like me, you’ve got a few different items on the menu–some low-level professional freakouts here, some panic attacks in elevators (or on live TV) over there…   Anyway, the bad news is that anxiety is unlikely to disappear overnight. But the good news is that you can change your relationship to it. Hence

Bring wisdom and compassion alongside difficult emotions by first calming your body & mind and then opening to the feels with acceptance. About Sharon Salzberg: A towering figure in the meditation world, Sharon Salzberg co-founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield. She is a New York Times best-selling author whose books include Lovingkindness, Real Happiness, Real Love, and Real Change. Sharon lives in New York City and teaches around the world. To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Letting Tough Emotions Be,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=2649944e-3c86-4237-9232-ddb9a2437925. Excited about the Taming Anxiety Challenge? Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get ready: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Anyone with a passing familiarity with Buddhism will know that “delusion” is rarely, if ever, mentioned in a positive way. In fact, the Buddha included delusion (aka: confusion about the way things really are) on his list of “the three poisons.” The whole point of meditation, per the Buddha, is to uproot delusion -- along with greed and hatred. Only then can you be enlightened.  My guest today is here to valiantly make the case that delusion -- or self-deception -- has an upside. Many upsides, in fact. While he concedes that self-deception can, of course, be massively harmful, he argues that it also plays a vital role in our success and wellbeing, and that it holds together friendships, marriages, and nations. Understanding this, he says, can make you happier, more effective, and -- crucially -- more empathetic with people with whom you disagree. Shankar Vedantam is the host of the popular podcast and radio show Hidden Brain. His new book is called Useful Delusions: The Power and Paradox of the Self-Deceiving

One of the more surprising lessons I’ve learned as an ambitious person is that perhaps the best recipe for success is... keeping your ego in check. For a long time, I subconsciously believed that you needed to be unremittingly selfish to “make it.” But after life delivered me repeated beat-downs, I finally got the message: sometimes what’s best for me is to focus on greater good -- on the team. It’s enlightened self-interest. (For the record, I am not perfect at this.) My guest today has also learned this lesson the hard way.  Chris Bosh is an 11-time NBA All-Star, an Olympic gold medalist, and he was just recently inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. He says his proudest moments as a player came from defeating his own ego, and you’ll hear him explain how he learned to do this. You’ll also hear him talk about something that anyone who’s ever been born needs to learn how to do (given that we live in a universe where impermanence is a nonnegotiable fact): letting go. In 2016, Chris nearly died from a bloo

In this episode from the excellent podcast Meditative Story, recorded a couple of years ago, Dan shares a candid look at his attempts to connect more with his son, Alexander, on their first father-son trip.    Meditative Story combines human stories with meditation prompts embedded into the storylines — all surrounded by breathtaking music. You can learn more about it here: https://meditativestory.com/, and listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472106563. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Covid appears to have brought on a spike in burnout, especially among women, millions of whom have exited the workplace since the pandemic began. So what is burnout, exactly? How do you know if you qualify? How do you fix it? And can meditation help? That’s what we’re tackling today with Leah Weiss, who despite being a longtime meditator herself, has experienced burnout firsthand.  Leah is a researcher and author. She was a founding faculty member of the Compassion Institute at Stanford University, and she’s the co-founder of Skylyte - a company that specializes in using the latest science to help organizations prevent burnout. She’s written two books. The most relevant for our purposes is called: How We Work: Live Your Purpose, Reclaim Your Sanity, and Embrace the Daily Grind. In this conversation, we cover: the differences between anxiety, depression, and burnout; how to detect burnout; how burnout runs along a spectrum, and is a “full body experience;” why meditation can help but also make some people more

These are not hospitable times for the mental skill of patience. Instant gratification has never been more thoroughly scaled. You can order food, taxis, and shampoo from your phone. Streaming services autoplay the next episode of whatever show you’re binging. You can ask Siri or Alexa for the weather, the latest sports scores, or the dating history of Paul Rudd. And on a deeper level, of course, global tumult is trying our patience -- with the pandemic, political polarization, climate disruption, and cultural divides over race, gender, and more.  My guest today comes armed with great tools we can all use to exercise a muscle that, for many, is badly atrophied. As you’ll hear him explain, the Buddhist approach to patience goes way beyond grin and bear it; instead it’s about developing a mind that can work positively with whatever is bothering us. Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche grew up in a monastic environment in Northern India. His father was said to be the third incarnation of a great Tibetan master. His mother wa

Returning to the practice of equanimity keeps you both grounded and receptive, especially during times of turmoil and uncertainty. About Roshi Joan Halifax: Roshi Joan Halifax is a Buddhist teacher, Zen priest, anthropologist, and pioneer in the field of end-of-life care. She is Founder, Abbot, and Head Teacher of Upaya Institute and Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Her most recent book is Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet. To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Strong Back, Soft Front,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=4cfcfe2d-f5fb-4142-9bd0-3fb6b2041324. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Many of us know that meditation can confer benefits such as self-awareness, calm, and compassion, but what about courage? My guest today says, yes. Meditation can boost your courage quotient. And she will talk about exactly how. Her name is Stacy McClendon. She is a teacher at the Common Ground Meditation Center in Minneapolis. She also has a background in social work. This is the second episode in our weeklong series marking the one year anniversary of the murder of George Floyd. Stacy has been organizing and hosting weekly Truth and Justice Vigils online, available to anyone, during and after the trials of the men charged with murdering George Floyd. In this conversation, we talk about: a Buddhist list called the Ten Paramis, and how those qualities can support courage; how white people can step up and be courageous; how compassion is not a weakness; and how to be what she calls a “compassionate agitator.” One technical note, you might hear a little background noise, including church bells, birds, and Stacy