10% Happier With Dan Harris

I, like many people, have the potential to get pretty dysregulated around food and body image. A lot of men don’t talk about this stuff, but there is plenty of evidence that this is a unisex issue. Especially during the holidays, when we’re surrounded by treats and stress-eating because we can’t see our family, or we can -- and they’re making us crazy.  This interview you’re about to hear changed my life. That’s an overused phrase, but in this case, it happens to be true. I came into this conversation with a rather hostile attitude toward my own body, filled with unrealistic expectations and unsustainable restrictions. Over the course of this encounter, you will hear my mind start to change. And ever since this interview was recorded, about a year ago, I have been working one-on-one with my guest, Evelyn Tribole, on these issues.  Evelyn is the co-creator of something called “Intuitive Eating,” which you can think of as kind of the anti-diet. Diets, she argues, do not work. Worse, they lead us to mistrust our

Vulnerability is not something I ever personally considered to be a valuable skill to cultivate. That is, until I met today’s guest, Brené Brown-- who helped me understand that being vulnerable is not about weakness, nor is it about sloppy oversharing. Instead, she argues, vulnerability is about honesty, realness, risk, and courage. All qualities that are very relevant for these turbulent times in which we are living.  Brené is a speaker, author, podcaster, professor, and researcher who has spent 2 decades studying vulnerability and courage, along with shame and empathy. She’s written 5 number 1 New York Times best sellers. She’s had a special on Netflix. And she’s spoken to a lot of high-achieving people about the importance of vulnerability, from executive suites to the CIA to the Seattle Seahawks.  We recorded this conversation in 2019, during a simpler time… but her insights are evergreen. Where to find Brené Brown online:  Website: https://brenebrown.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/BreneBrown Instagram:

Being kind to ourselves in hard times bolsters our resilience, so we can learn from setbacks rather than getting stuck in rumination. About Sebene: Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and raised in Washington, D.C, Seb has been drawn to explore the intersection of different cultures. She was a self-professed "really bad dharma student," until she was diagnosed with stage-three breast cancer at age 34. Then she says she became "a really good dharma student." Selassie has now survived breast cancer three times and is a meditation teacher, transformational coach, and community advocate in New York City. For a quick and meaningful gift, send a gift subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app to your friends and family! We're offering gift subscriptions at a discount through the end of this month. No shipping required - your gift will be delivered directly to your email inbox. Get a gift subscription by visiting www.tenpercent.com/gift See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at htt

I don’t know about you, but there have been many times during this wrenching year where I have made my pain even worse by adding on layers and layers of self-criticism. There’s a notion that is deeply ingrained in our culture that the only way to succeed -- or even to survive -- is to liberally apply an internal cattle prod. But there is research that strongly suggests that this approach simply leads to extra anxiety, and that there is a more successful approach, called self-compassion. My guest today has been at the very forefront of this research. Kristin Neff has empirically demonstrated the value of self-compassion; she has shown that it doesn’t have to lead to passivity, self-absorption, or cheesiness; and, as you will hear, she has practiced what she preaches in extremely difficult circumstances in her own life. All of this makes her, in my opinion, a figure of incalculable importance. We recorded this interview back in 2019, and it contributed to a major turning point in my meditation practice and in m

The notion of transmuting the difficult stuff in your life into something positive has become a cliche. Turning lemon into lemonades, making your mess your message, etcetera. But, as I have said many times on this show, there is a reason cliches become cliches: they’re true. And it is extraordinarily helpful, in my experience, when someone can re-language and revivify an ancient truth that has been ground into platitude through rote repetition. My guest today does just that. Fleet Maull spent many years in prison on serious drug-related charges. He used that time to fuel a deep meditation practice and public service career. He’s practiced for nearly five decades in the Zen, Tibetan, and Vipassana Insight traditions. He’s also written a book called Radical Responsibility. In this episode, we talk about how to, in his words, turn the gnarly stuff in your life into a gift (or, as an old Buddhist expression has it, how to use your struggles as “manure for enlightenment”). On that note, midway through the intervie

Caring about others' well being actually enhances our own. Practice and see how this beautiful quality begins to transform your experience. About Joseph Goldstein: Joseph is one of the most respected meditation teachers in the world -- a key architect of the rise of mindfulness in our modern society -- with a sense of humor to boot. In the 1970's, he co-founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Since its founding, thousands of people from around the world have come to IMS to learn mindfulness from leaders in the field. Joseph has been a teacher there since its founding and continues as the resident guiding teacher. Many Ten Percent Happier users have written in over the past few months to tell us how vital their meditation practice has been to helping them cope with this dumpster fire of a year. If you know someone who could use a bit more balance, send them a gift subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app! We're offering gift subscriptions at a discount thro

How much would your relationships improve if you could up your emotional intelligence game? That phrase -- emotional intelligence -- entered the lexicon 25 years ago, when my friend Daniel Goleman wrote a book by the same name. And so on this episode, to mark the 25th anniversary edition of Emotional Intelligence, we’re having Danny on the show. By way of background, he is a Harvard-trained psychologist who, along with other contemplative luminaries such as Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and others, went to Asia and discovered meditation in the 1960s, and then made it a huge part of their lives and careers. In this conversation, we talk about: the four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much during the middle of a pandemic. We also discuss: empathy and relationship management in the age of zoom; the “marshmallow test” and impulse control; a phenomenon he calls “amygdala hijacks”; and why so many Jewish kids in the sixties and seventies

Sam Harris (no relation to me, by the way -- although I wouldn’t mind it) has had a formative impact on my contemplative development. He was one of the first “normal” (at least that’s how I computed it, back when I was still a rather judgmental skeptic) people I met who was really into meditation, which gave me a lot of courage and inspiration to pursue the practice myself. He later helped me get into my first meditation retreat with his old friend Joseph Goldstein, which was a massively important event in my life and the beginning of a deep relationship with Joseph. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Sam, he is a neuroscientist, philosopher, author, podcaster, and app founder. I first heard of him in the mid-aughts, when he wrote a book called The End of Faith, which was a jeremiad against organized religion. I was surprised to learn that he had spent, cumulatively, several years on meditation retreats. He later wrote a book which touched on those subjects, called Waking Up. That is also the name of h

What is happiness? Investigate how happiness is created, what it’s really like, and learn to access the simple happiness of right now. About Jay Michaelson: Dr. Jay Michaelson is the Editor of Wisdom Content at Ten Percent Happier and the author of six books on meditation, including his newest, Enlightenment by Trial and Error. In his “other career,” Jay is a columnist for The Daily Beast, and was a professional LGBTQ activist for ten years. Jay is an ordained rabbi and has taught meditation in secular, Buddhist, and Jewish context for fifteen years. You can always share these Friday bonuses with your friends, but we're also running a sale to help you and a friend kickstart your meditation practices. For a limited time, if you buy yourself a subscription to Ten Percent Happier, we'll send you a free gift subscription to share with whomever you'd like. Note that nothing is permanent, and this offer is no exception: get it before it ends by going to www.tenpercent.com/december See Privacy Policy at https://art

2020 has already sucked extremely hard, but we may now be entering even more difficult months ahead, as winter sets in. So we asked Professor Laurie Santos to come on. She is overflowing with science-based strategies for navigating this difficult time. This is the second episode in our 2-part series that we’re semi-facetiously calling Winter is Coming. If you missed last week’s episode with Zindel Segal, a pioneer in mindful treatment for depression and anxiety, go check it out. Laurie is a tenured professor at Yale, where she teaches a blockbuster course on happiness. She’s also now the host of a podcast called the Happiness Lab. In the conversation, we talk about how to handle the holidays in a pandemic; how to have hard conversations with your family; combating pandemic fatigue in your own mind; the need to double down on self-care; why the things we think will make us happy probably won’t; and the cultivation of JOMO and “time affluence.” Take Part in the New Year’s Series To submit a question or share a

The women around the Buddha dropped a ton of useful wisdom, but I suspect you haven’t heard much about that. Why? Why have these women been largely written out of history? And what do these hidden figures have to teach us? We’re diving in on that today with Pamela Weiss, dharma teacher in the Zen and Theravada traditions and author of A Bigger Sky. Last week, we had on Bhikkhu Bodhi, who talked about the words of the Buddha. You might think of this episode as a follow-up to that one—part compelling history, part injection of approachable wisdom. In this conversation, we talk about Pamela’s research into the Buddha’s wife, mom, and aunt; how and why Buddhism became tilted toward the masculine; and the benefits both Pamela and I have experienced from bringing more feminine energy to our practice and life. Where to find Pamela Weiss online:  Website: https://pamelaweiss.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PamelaWeissAuthor/ Books Mentioned: A Bigger Sky: Awakening a Fierce Feminine Buddhism by Pamela Weiss h

Is it possible--or even wise--to stay generous and open right now, given the perennial stresses of the holiday season and the unique stresses of 2020? In today’s bonus talk, Norman Fischer helps us answer that question. He will talk you through how to investigate your own small-mindedness and relax into a more generous, spacious version of yourself--a practice he calls “emotional yoga.” Norman is a Zen priest, a poet, and the author of several books, including The World Could Be Otherwise. Ten Percent Happier Discount 2020 has been a doozy, so this year we’re offering Ten Percent Happier subscriptions at a 40% discount. Get this deal before it ends on December 1st by going to to www.tenpercent.com/november. Take Part in the New Year’s Series To submit a question or share a reflection dial 646-883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Monday December 7th. See Privacy Polic

Winter is coming. Not to get all Game of Thrones on you, but... while there are some optimistic signs on the horizon in the form of vaccines, it looks like we could be heading into some dark months of rising caseloads and restrictions on our lifestyle. Consequently, we are launching a 2-part series to help you ride this out. Next week, we will talk to happiness researcher Laurie Santos (host of the Happiness Lab podcast). Today, my guest today is Zindel Segal, a clinical psychologist from the University of Toronto and a pioneer in developing and studying ways to use mindfulness for depression and anxiety. While not all of us will experience clinical depression or anxiety in the coming months, we may well experience significant doses of sadness and worry. In this conversation, we talk about: what the science shows about the benefits of meditation for depression and anxiety; the importance of establishing and maintaining routines as a form of antidepressant; the differences between depression and anxiety; and h

When I first got interested in meditation, all the talk of the Buddha that I encountered in the various books I was reading and lectures I was attending seemed like more of a bug than a feature. I was looking for science-backed stress relief, not religion. But the more I learned, the more interested I became in the Buddha. He was, after all, not a god or a prophet. He was, based on the available evidence, a mortal man who made no claims about the creation of the universe. In fact, to the extent that he did make metaphysical claims, he explicitly told people: don’t believe anything because I tell you. Meanwhile, he laid out a set of meditation instructions and an approach to the human situation that, in my experience, are extraordinarily practical and valuable. And yet, many of today’s meditators don’t know much about who the Buddha was or what he actually taught. Hence today’s guest, the Venerable Bhikkhu Bodhi. He was born Jeffrey Block in Brooklyn, became a Buddhist monk as a young man, and then went on to

Release the grip of stress by playing with perspective, zooming in and waaay out, and feeling into the wild weather patterns of life.   We hope you enjoyed this meditation. If you're thinking, "You know, I could've kept going for another five or ten minutes," I encourage you to check out the Ten Percent Happier app, where you'll find this same meditation in different lengths to suit your practice. Your subscription cost directly supports our wonderful teachers and allows them to dedicate their time to teaching the life-changing skill of mindfulness. As an added incentive, we've got a special discount for anyone new to the app. To claim your discount, visit tenpercent.com/bonus. If you're an existing subscriber, we thank you for your support.   About Jeff Warren: Jeff is an incredibly gifted meditation teacher. He's trained in multiple traditions, including with renowned teacher Shinzen Young. Jeff is the co-author of NY Times Bestseller "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics," and the founder of the Consciousness E

What to do if you find yourself marooned at your Thanksgiving meal, facing a voluble uncle who is spewing political ideas you find abominable? Our guest today is overstuffed (see what I did there?) with practical ideas. I first met Bill Doherty several years ago, when I was doing a story for Nightline about a group called Braver Angels. The group was formed in the aftermath of the 2016 election, with the idea of bringing reds and blues together to create some mutual understanding and trust. As I watched the man moderating these seemingly incredibly successful discussions (ie no shouting, no rote recitations of slogans), I was really impressed. I later learned that he was both a marriage counselor and a meditator. So I invited him to come on the show. In this conversation, we discuss: why trying to change people’s minds or get them to abandon their core values is unlikely to be a winning strategy; the value of sticking with so-called “I” statements; and how to reach what he calls “accurate disagreement.” Pleas

It feels like the right time to drop a deep Dharma episode. And this one has a twist. Bonnie Duran is a professor in the Schools of Social Work and Public Health at the University of Washington, where she also directs the Center for Indigenous Health Research. She has spent decades studying and teaching Buddhist meditation, and also exploring the connections between the dharma and the indigenous wisdom of her forbears. In this conversation, we talk about: the connections between meditation and native ceremonies such as the sun dance; we explore a Buddhist list that I had never heard of, called the Seven Spokes of Sathipatthana; and she lays out a six word reflection for getting through crappy days. Where to find Bonnie Duran online:  Website: https://socialwork.uw.edu/faculty/professors/bonnie-duran Twitter: https://twitter.com/bonniemduran Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bonnie.duran Full Shownotes & Extra Resources: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/bonnie-duran-300 See Privacy Policy at ht

Take the edge off out-of-control overwhelm and gain some agency in how you respond when everything feels like it’s crashing down. About Oren Sofer: Oren Jay Sofer teaches mindfulness, meditation and Nonviolent Communication. He has practiced meditation since 1997, beginning his studies in Bodh Gaya, India and is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto, and is a graduate of the IMS/Spirit Rock Teacher Training program. He holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University and is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. We hope you enjoyed this meditation. If you're thinking, "You know, I could've kept going for another five or ten minutes," I encourage you to check out the Ten Percent Happier app, where you'll find this same meditation in different lengths to suit your practice. Your subscription cost directly supports our wonderful teachers and allows them to dedicate their time to teaching the life-changing skill of min

My guest today does a fantastic job of speaking in a not-at-all-annoying way about the inarguably important yet potentially very cheesy concept of self-love. Haemin Sunim is a Korean “mega monk” who has developed a massive online following and has written huge bestsellers. He’s also earned degrees from Berkeley, Harvard, and Princeton, and is the founder of South Korea’s School for Broken Hearts. In this conversation, we talk about how perfection resides only in your mind, how a celibate monk learned to give great relationship advice, and how he manages his own relationship to ambition. We also have a fascinating exchange about enlightenment. Where to find Haemin Sunim online: Website: https://www.haeminsunim.com/en Twitter: https://twitter.com/haeminsunim Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/haeminsunim/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/haemin_sunim/?hl=en Other Resources Mentioned: •   Love for Imperfect Things by Haemin Sunim - https://www.haeminsunim.com/books •   Haemin Sunim’s School for Broken Hearts

Kindness and empathy are loaded propositions right now. When you hear those words, you might think: Eh, those are soft skills that won’t help me get ahead. Or: If I’m too nice, I will get trampled. Or: I need my anger to be effective. Or: I am plenty nice -- it’s other people who need to up their game. My guest today will push back on all of these reservations, and tell us how -- and why -- to, as he says, “hack your empathy.” Jamil Zaki is a psychologist and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. He wrote a book called, The War for Kindness. In this conversation, we talk about how our modern culture is suffering from an “empathy deficit”; why he believes selfishness is a sickness; how to avoid empathy burnout; and the academic criticism that empathy is actually an outmoded and unreliable human capacity. Where to find Jamil Zaki online: Website: https://www.warforkindness.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/zakijam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/warforkindness/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com