Pretty Spiritual Podcast

How to Build Self Confidence  This week your spiritual besties are taking on the topic of self confidence. Whether you’re overly confident or tend toward lack of confidence, we hope you’ll join in. If you’re anything like us, you might vacillate wildly between the two. Or better yet, feel like both at once. Are you the most amazing piece of dumpster trash in the whole world? Or an egomaniac with an inferiority complex? Yay, you’re amongst friends! We’ll start episode 33 by sharing about the ways we used to try to get self confidence from outside ourselves. While it’s a natural place to turn for good feelings, we also found that it’s not a reliable one. Ultimately, trying to get good feelings about ourselves from the outside-in left each of us feeling worthless and thinking thoughts like, “I’m not good enough.” Even though it seems like we’re all born with natural confidence, we forget what we’re truly capable of. This happens because of our early relationships with caregivers, difficult life experiences, and

Happiness Is A Choice… Wait, What? This week your spiritual besties are talking about what it’s like to choose an… attitude of gratitude. Did you just vomit a little bit in your mouth and have to swallow it? Don’t worry, we can relate. If talk of gratefulness still makes you a little queasy, we made episode 32 just for you! If you’re struggling with being grateful, we have definitely been there. What happens when we’re resisting this attitude? Often we’re judging what’s here or grasping after something we think could change how we feel.  That’s why we’re so curious about what is here when gratitude is not? And how can we prime our hearts for gratitude when they feel totally shut down? That’s right, friends. This is an honest and human account of how to choose a positive attitude when it feels like the last house on the block.  So, what is gratitude, really? Maybe it doesn’t have to feel cloying or inauthentic. How does that happen? We can search our own hearts and minds for something we can genuinely apprecia

Let Go Of Those Painfully High Expectations Are you someone who has really high expectations of yourself and others? We can totes relate. But what happens when people don’t live up to them? If you’re anything like us (and if you’re reading this, we’re starting to suspect you are), the answer is suffering. That’s why this episode is all about noticing and releasing unrealistic ideas about how we think life should be going. They say that happiness is reality minus expectations. But the truth is that most of us don’t even realize we have them until we’re experiencing resentment or disappointment when they’ve gone unrealized. It’s not wrong to have expectations. They’re a natural part of being human. But how can we engage with our assumptions about how life should be so that we can all suffer a little bit less?  In episode 31 we look at what it’s like to notice and relinquish our unrealistic expectations about ourselves, our relationships, and our lives. Join us as we learn how expectation management can help us

What Does It Mean To Be Spiritual? This week’s episode is about what spirituality looks like when life just shows up. Instead of our usual episode routine, we're letting go into the moment and just sharing where each of us is on our spiritual path right now. In other words? We're going to relax and trust the process of spiritual growth and development.  So, what does that actually look like? We'll fill you in on the places we are struggling and how we draw on the strength of our spiritual community to keep trying. We're opening up about what it's like to just be human beings (and hopefully giving you guys permission to do that, too!)   Annie shares her grief at pet loss after putting a dog down and the struggles she's having with her jaw. She also teaches us her favorite prayer: the St Francis Prayer. And the best part? You don't need to be religious to make this prayer your new spiritual tool!  Lindsay talks about how spiritual encouragement and the power of example help her be loving and present with hersel

What Causes Fear?  Today we’re talking about how to overcome fear. To start, what is fear? We’ll borrow this definition: an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. How does it look different in our minds and bodies? How do our bodies respond physically to threats? And what do we add in terms of mental anxiety, past trauma, and learned behaviors? We’ll start by looking at what causes us to feel afraid. Since it’s a natural and necessary experience, we want to use it as the wise and appropriate indicator it is. In balanced nervous systems, we have the ability to draw on appropriate responses to being afraid. These are things like fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and fatigue. But if we’ve been traumatized and have a history of living in fear, we may get stuck in disordered coping patterns. That’s why we’ll dive into fear of the future, fear of change, and the way trauma and PTSD can manifest as feeling scared (and believing these feelings represent the truth.) Even though feel

This time, we’re taking a nice, long look at avoidance behavior and tools for overcoming procrastination. Rather put off listening to this episode until later? We get it! So, what is procrastination? James Clear defines it as “the act of delaying or postponing a task or set of tasks” and calls it “the force that prevents you from following through on what you set out to do.” No matter our personal flavor, we all relate to this phenomenon. And, come on, avoidant coping makes sense. If there’s something uncomfortable to do, our brains think we can avoid the discomfort by just avoiding the thing. The problem? Our mounting anxiety, plus the lingering sense that we’re not safe and can’t trust ourselves. And then there are the mental gymnastics involved in avoidance and the fatigue that goes along with them. So, why do we procrastinate? In episode 27, we’ll open up about our histories of avoidant coping. Yes, this includes how we procrastinate around work, financial responsibility, and, our personal fave, that deep

Get Off Your Phones  This week, we’re looking at cell phone addiction (or dependency?). What’s happening for us when we’re watching TV while scrolling through our phones and generally not wanting to be present in actual reality?  We all know the feeling of picking up our phones to perform a discrete task and then remembering, as we put them down half an hour later, that we forgot to do that thing. We all know what it feels like to get sucked in when we’re looking at phones. Where does this screen addiction come and how is it impacting our lives?  Our shared technology addiction literally changes the functioning of our brains. Did you know that just having your phone in plain view diminishes human intelligence and cognitive functioning? Omg.   Many of us seek outwardly to fulfill our inner needs when we’re tired, empty, bored, or under-resourced. Or best yet, when we deserve it.  We think a healthier, happier relationship with phones is possible. And we’re going to look at what it takes to get off your phone a

How to Set Boundaries  This time your spiritual bffs are talking boundaries. First off, what are boundaries? Why do we need to talk about them? And how could something so uncomfortable actually help take care of us?  First, we’ll talk about how we started learning to communicate needs. We’ll focus on how to set boundaries, especially when we feel the pull of urgency and expectations. Then, we’ll look at examples of what verbal boundaries can sound like. Plus, we’ll talk about what it feels like to start taking care of ourselves with clear and direct communication. (Spoiler alert: it can feel really icky at first!) But is all this discomfort worth it? We think so. Why? Because when we take care of ourselves, we get to be free from resentment, anger, and victimization. This allows us to love not only ourselves but others as well. Asking for respect in a relationship means that we get the freedom to let others have their experience without needing to be afraid of what that looks like. Are you struggling with set

Not quite sure how to trust yourself? Does the phrase, ‘trust yourself,’ seem laughable or downright dangerous? We feel ya. Many of us don’t know how to hear our gut feeling or tap into our innate intuitiveness. As a result, we spend years shoving that quiet heart whisper down and attempting to drown it out with cell phone obsession, spending money, food, substances, and straight up avoidance. In this episode, your spiritual best friends dive into the ever-elusive topic of spiritual intuition, how to trust yourself, and how to listen to your gut. We provide real time examples of what intuitive thinking looks like (or doesn’t!) in our lives. We talk about the spiritual tools and principles we are experimenting with to help us better hear our innermost truth. If you’re someone who is used to ruling your world with your head, and not your heart, learning new ways to connect your body and your mind can feel daunting. Again, we can relate! That’s because all three of us have spent years tamping down our intuitive

We hear a lot these days about the benefits of meditation. But if you’re new to the practice, you might be wondering, does meditation actually work? If you’ve been at it for a while, maybe you’re a little jaded with your mindfulness routine. What does meditation do? And why meditate, when it can be so terrifying, uncomfortable, or just plain meh to slow down and be still? In episode 23 your spiritual besties talk about the benefits of mindfulness and share our experience with the question. We’ll each talk about how we began our practice, however haphazardly. And how we learned that it’s okay to be uncomfortable or anxious when we start to be still with our body and mind.  Plus, we’ll share about the meditation techniques for beginners that helped us make a humble start at this practice. Like, did you know you can do a two-minute practice that totally counts? Did you know that you don’t actually have to have a quiet mind to meditate? Or that you don’t have to believe the thoughts you have about how your practi

Do you get annoyed when people say that you should just let go of something that’s bothering you? It’s that little word *just.* If letting go were a matter of just doing it, surely we’d have done it by now. Heaven knows we’ve tried hard and long enough to control that process ourselves! That’s right, spiritual friendies, episode 22 is all about how to let that shit go.  Moving on from something that has been occupying our mind and our heart isn’t always a straightforward process. Often it requires frustrating attempts to release something that we just can’t stop picking up. Maybe letting go of the past seems like an exercise in spiritual futility because we watch yourself picking it back up before we’ve even finished putting it down. Been there. If you’re wondering how to let go or how to move on, we’ve got some practical and perspective-shifting tools for you. We’ll look at what happens when we shine the light of spiritual practice on the messy process of letting go. How does our experience change if learnin

Dealing with Anger  Grrr! In episode 21, we’re taking a look at what causes anger and what messages this intelligent emotion might have for us. Above all, we believe feelings are a healthy and normal part of the human experience. So how can we let anger be our spiritual teacher? What would be different if we could let our anger be... spiritual? Yup, we’re really going for it! We’ll start by sharing our experiences with pent up anger and what it was like for each of us when we first started looking at how to deal with anger. Maybe you’re someone who feels angry all the time. On the other hand,  you might be someone who hasn't yet made contact with your own angry feelings. Certainly, some of us feel safer taking care of others’ feelings rather than acknowledging our own. Wondering, “why am I so angry all the time?” Let's find out together. We’ve got tools to help us acknowledge, feel, and process this emotion in a way that is positive and affirming rather than harmful and destructive. Let's look at how to stop

Finding Yourself & Loving What You Find  Today we’re talking about experience and how we relate to it. What is experience, anyway? How do we relate to what we’re thinking and to our state of mind? And is it possible to bring mindfulness and love to our relationship with self and our direct experience so that we can be okay no matter what life looks like? We sure hope so! First, we’ll share what it has been like for each of us on this inward journey. We’ll talk about the ways we’ve learned to relate kindly and wisely to our own experiences, as well as the areas where it still feels weird and hard. Then we’ll explore how our patterns of thinking can become the habitual experiences and attitudes we have of life and ourselves. And, most importantly, we’ll look at what we can do to shift into a kinder and more resilient outlook. Wondering about how to find yourself and make friends with the person you find? Want to know how to have a healthy relationship with yourself? Good news, we brought our spiritual tools

Can people change? Yes, according to neuroplasticity. And, yup, it involves a lot of work and plenty of patience. Today we’re looking at how to use spiritual tools for changing habits, patterns and behaviors that no longer serve us.  Many of us who are wondering how to change a habit can get stuck in self-loathing and aversion in the process. So normal! That’s why we especially want to talk about how we can be kind and gentle with ourselves when we’re deep in the work of acknowledging and addressing these deeply ingrained patterns. How do we cultivate an environment of loving acceptance for ourselves no matter where we are in the cycle of breaking habits?  Are you trying for a change of habit? Wondering how to break a habit you’ve been struggling with? We’ll share what it looks like in real time when we’re working to unlearn outdated patterns.  So, how long does it take to break a habit? Some studies suggest just over two months. This means it might be possible to form new, healthy habits faster than you thin

Today we’re talking about how to live in the moment. There’s a lot of talk about how to be present and live in the now. Is this just some new agey, feel-good jargon or is it an actual spiritual reality that’s possible for each of us to practice with moment by moment? (We’re sure hoping for the latter!) If we believe that living in the present is a possibility, how do we actually do that? How do we be present when life gets really uncomfortable and hard? We’ll start by talking about disassociation. What does it feel like when we’ve left our bodies and hearts? Why do we check out? We’ll share how we check out from the present moment and why it can feel so hard to just stay in the now. If living in the present is so hard, why do we think it’s a worthwhile practice? And even more importantly, what spiritual tools help us build our presence muscle and bring us back to this moment when we notice we’ve left?  If you’re wondering how to be present or how to enjoy life more, we hope these tools can work for you, too.

This week, we’re grappling with acceptance. Wondering, “what is acceptance?” We’ll start off episode 17 by sharing how we make sense of this spiritual principle, what we think it is and what we’re pretty sure it’s not. Then we’ll each share our personal struggles with how to accept things as they are. We’ll dig in and talk about the reasons acceptance can feel so counterintuitive and problematic for so many of us. Spoiler alert: accepting something doesn’t mean we like it or condone it. It’s just the spiritual stance that means we’re intent on facing reality rather than fighting it. Firstly, we’ll each talk about some struggles we’ve had with the topic and how it continues to come up in our lives. Just in time, we’ll lay out some of the spiritual tools that are helping teach us how to let go and accept life and ourselves just as we are right now. Having trouble with how to accept yourself and love who you are? Wondering how to let go of your expectations of yourself, others and reality? Or maybe you’re strugg

We talk about prayer kind of a lot. So if you’re wondering why, what is prayer, or how to pray, we made episode 16 to start a conversation with you! We want to open up the conversation about prayer so that it can include everyone. Whether you use prayer to talk to god or consider yourself an atheist or agnostic, we’ll share how we believe this spiritual tool can work across the board. At the end of the day, maybe it doesn’t matter if you want to know how to pray to god or just how to connect to yourself on a deeper level. We believe that the power of prayer can come alive for all of us, no matter what we do or don’t believe in. So join in the fun as we talk about how our relationships with this tool have changed over the years. We’ll also share our favorite practical and healing prayers, in case they might be helpful to you. What’s your relationship with prayer like? Come join the conversation and let us know about your beliefs and experiences xo

Stop Self Victimization  We’re looking at the weird and sticky topic of self-pity. We’ll start by asking: what is self pity? If you’ve been stuck in a chronic cycle and want to learn how to stop feeling sorry for yourself, come join our spiritual pity party. We’ve got a whole bunch of experience with this topic. More importantly, we have suggestions that have helped us find our way through. In other words, we've got spiritual tools like compassion and mindfulness. To start, we'll talk about our own difficulties with this sometimes toxic-feeling experience. And, of course, we’ll spend some time sharing the spiritual tools that help us through.  If you’re someone who struggles with the experience of victimhood, please come join the convo! We want to appreciate self pity for the intelligence and information it has without getting stuck in its goop.  What if we treat self victimization as a misguided attempt to care for ourselves, rather than something shameful and gross to look at? Let’s see how our thoughts and

Wondering how to calm anxiety and stress in your life? In episode 14 your spiritual bffs dive into the topic headfirst. Most of us have stress in our lives, so how can we learn to make friends with it? We’ll talk about ways to deal with stress and let you know about our most effective stress management techniques. We’ll focus on in-the-moment meditation and mindfulness for anxiety and stress. Plus, we’ll also share where we’re struggling with stress reactions and what it looks like to pick up spiritual tools in the midst of the big and little stressors. Do you suffer with chronic stress? Let us know what it’s like for you and what has been helping! xo