#millennial

-The government shitdown unfolds as we speak, and we all pray that pinky promises are legally binding.  -An Irish woman finds love in the arms of her new husband: the 300 year old ghost of a Haitian pirate. WTF News is back! -#FakeNews NASA says our solar system contains a mysterious 9th planet... that we just haven't found yet. In related news, science determines all reality is a sham. -Pennsylvania's Supreme Court made big waves when it struck down gerrymandering this week, prompting many in the Republican Party to comment, "Fuck." -Women descend on the nation in droves demanding crazy feminazi shit like "equal pay" and "reproductive freedom."  -Trump assumes his final form as a Reddit comment troll. -China's new, freakishly efficient air purifier might be the answer to our ailing air quality. Also, trees. -USE A PHONE. -The Confessional pedals conspiracy theories, and Surprise, Bitch! surprises absolutely no one. In this week's After Dark: -Bad neighbors. We've all had them, and right n