Plumbing The Death Star

Sure Charlie Bucket got the factory because everyone else failed quicker, but was that the best move by Wonka? Running a business is hard work. Running a questionable legal chocolate manufacturing business with multiple scandals involving workers rights, fair pay and strange and unique injuries to guests is possibly harder. We don’t think Charlie has it in him to bribe officials or squash any dissenting opinions about unions. His amoral failings will be the death of Wonka chocolate and Augustus Gloop will have died for nothing. At least under the ruthless eye of one of the other children, Gloop’s legacy will live on. But more importantly Wonka’s legacy will live on. Sure it might be Wonka-Salt now, but the chocolate’s so good you’ll die for it. Just ask Augustus. You can’t. Because he’s a dead little boy. Due to woeful safety regulations at the chocolate factory. But you know he’d say it and mean every word.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to be