Thoughts Of A Trillionaire

I just wanted to document this feeling: Why do I keep getting to this point of feeling useless? This pattern of loss of agency, depression, loneliness, and losing my bearings... What is causing it? Where is it coming from? Why is it the way it is? What can I do about it? I often times feel overwhelmed yet underwhelmed at the same time... Just trying to figure out why and how to get out of it...