Plumbing The Death Star

In which our heroes cast powerful spells, wear a pointy hat, and live in a magical tower as we ask why wizards don't rule the world. We discuss Wizard power levels, making your castle spectacular, and the function of a monarch in todays society. Alli quickly sets her sights on immortality, Zammit solves his problem with a gulag, and Jackson just wants to solve world hunger. So grow your beard long, buy an owl and talk to it, and try not to get your star and moon robe dirty. It's a wizardocracy and it's time you got used to it.Want to help fund a rescue effort to free Jackson’s cows? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help save thousands.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least seven books on running the perfect society. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes pit hero against hero, POTUS against a god and Batman against a man with a bat all while wondering why we haven’t done a versus episode? We look at the inherent problems of wailing away at a cripple with a hammer, the benefits of having your own bowling alley and how a human sized ant could ride a bicycle. Jackson gives up trying to train Chewbacca, Zammit steals rules from the Weekly Planet Podcast and Duscher just wants to know who’s the best sidekick. It’s a free for all battle royale as we find out who’s the best there is at what they do, and sometimes what they do is to serve a bunch of other people.Want to help fund a fight between the Rock and an actual rock? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in spectator sport history.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixty-eight books about the meticulous r

In which our heroes still don’t care that it’s bigger on the inside, aren’t impressed with how many parsecs you made the Kessel Run in and don’t want to deal with that mutant problem on Earth 616 because there are better fictional universes to live in. We look at the ethics of mind control, the potential problems that arise when body switching and the responsibility of owning pets at such a young age. Jackson decides on Freaky Friday, Zammit inevitably turns to Star Wars, and Duscher just surprises us all with Pokemon. So pick your side, build your case and bribe the necessary judges as we find out, once and for all, the best fictional universe to live in. Again.Want to help destroy the multiverse? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our parallel lives. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least eighty books about string t

In which our heroes don’t care that it’s bigger on the inside, aren’t impressed with how many parsecs you made the Kessel Run in and don’t want to deal with that mutant problem on Earth 616 because there are worse fictional universes to live in. We look at the ethics of mind control, the potential problems that arise when body switching and the responsibility of owning pets at such a young age. Jackson decides on Freaky Friday, Zammit inevitably turns to Star Wars, and Duscher just surprises us all with Pokemon. So pick your side, build your case and bride the necessary judges as we find out, once and for all, the worst fictional universe to live in.Want to help destroy the multiverse? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our parallel lives. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least eighty books about string theory. Hosted

In which our heroes scour through the Gotham Gazette, flick through the Daily Planet and start chatting to some locals to see if they’d rather live in Gotham or Metropolis. We look at each city’s rogue gallery, the likely collateral damage that would inevitably take place and the level of corruption of the local police department amongst other things. Jackson’s late for work again no matter where he goes, James would rather risk a building fall on him than live out in the boonies and Zammit just wants to buy some milk without getting mugged. It’s a gamble where no one’s the winner where we find the ideal place to settle down and raise our kids.Want to help superheroes learn about mortgages? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in interest rates. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least fourteen books about living amongst masked

In which our heroes join the DCP, get slaughtered on the job and have our lifeless corpses turned into half robots, half mans and all cops. We look at how important our dicks are, reminisce about that one robot that commits suicide in the second film (maybe?), and imagine an aged Robocop going through Alzheimer’s. Jackson points out that robotics and cybernetics are two completely different schools of science, Zammit doesn't understand why they don't use remote controlled ED-209s, and Duscher just forgives the film for any minor or major flaw because Robocop. So say goodbye to your human existence, choof off all those superfluous body parts and shoot a rapist in the dick because either way, dead or alive, you're coming with me.Want to help Robocop regain his humanity and more importantly, his penis? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a huge difference in his robomarriage.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free tria

In which our heroes live through another mass escape from Arkham, stock up on bottled water as Gotham’s water supply has been poisoned again and watch the news for potential Joker gas threats as they wonder why Batman doesn’t just kill the Joker? We look at all the bad things Joker has done, a sure fire way to get out of having to vote ever again and review Arkham’s revolving door policy. Jackson is Grant Morrison against his will, Zammit just assumes it’s all the Bat-Demon’s fault and Duscher just wants to keep reminding people of the Killing Joke. It's a criminally good time as we remember that Batman doesn't kill for a reason (anymore) and is probably having too much fun dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.Want to help fund Jackson’s quest to prove he isn’t Grant Morrison? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in his double life.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audi

In which our heroes crash land on an alien planet, splash around in some black goo, and end up host to a parasitic alien as we ask if xenomorphs a good weapon? We attempt to decipher Prometheus, wonder what would happen if a facehugger impregnated a xenomorph, and explore the almost certain possibility of the existence of space gorillas. Zammit likens xenomorphs to pandas, James is amazed that xenomorphs happened twice, and Jackson just wants to talk about his Mogwai/Xenomorph theory. So avoid touching any mysterious eggs, don’t pet the snake alien, avoid thinking too hard about Prometheus, and try to figure out what the hell is going on. We’re not in space, so everyone can hear you scream.Want to help Blomkamp make a less confusing alien film? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a movie that makes sense. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at

In which our heroes use proper conflict resolution techniques, try to adhere to strict workplace guidelines and policies but end up submitting a written complaint anyway as they wonder what the real problems fictional HR departments have to deal with. We look at the requirements for being Batman’s butler, wonder what the orcs actually wanted in Lord of the Rings, and ask if Rocky I-VI is racist. Zammit wants to know what a marriage counsellor equivalent for Superhero teams is, Duscher tries to figure out how the world can get behind the Avengers when they're always infighting, and Ray just wants to know if James Bond could get away with it all if he was an insurance salesman. So call a press conference, put a positive spin on all your problems and awkwardly make a forced apology without getting everyone fired and/or imprisoned.Want to help hire a HR guy for Sanspants? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make sure we don’t turn on each other.And don’t forget t

In which our heroes turn to their inner demons, poison the water supply and cackle manically while wondering what villainous theme they would take if they lived in Gotham City. We look at saving developing countries from starvation, going to university to study fire and the best way to recruit henchmen. Jackson has a fascination with beef, Duscher is confused about how being born works and Zammit just wants to throw coins at Batman and hassle his grapes. So cower in terror at the villains who weren’t invited to knightfall, line up to have your chance to break the Bat and stick around for the inevitable dark and gritty 90s reboot. It’s confusingly evil and somewhat incompetent. Want to help people succumb to the influence of the demon bat? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Gotham City. It won’t be a positive difference, but it’ll be a difference. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http

In which our heroes help our dad around the farm and try to minimise their parents crippling debt by taking on a job while wondering why that Kent kid doesn’t help out his folks but instead sits around all day, mopes about girl problems and eats pop-tarts. We look at Clark’s diamond making potential, his possible career as a delivery man for literally everywhere and if Batman has ever lent him the Bat credit card. Jackson wants to know if the JLA is a cushy government job, James thinks every live action version of Superman is wrong, Zammit proclaims that Pa Kent is the problem and Duscher just wants you to listen to his side-podcast; Sad People I Know. So find an abandoned baby in the woods, consider raising it as your own and join us for one of the most convoluted comparison we’ve ever come up with. By the end of the episode you too will be wondering if the Fires Out?Want to help the Kents because Superman won’t? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help supp

In which our heroes revisit Jurassic Park, go on another (mis)guided tour and run from the dinosaurs that have inevitable escaped from their enclosures while wondering if John Hammond is a bad boss. We look at the complications of building a theme-park on top of Central Park, the many ways one foolish man can traumatise young children, and the outstanding prehistory of horses. Jackson hires mercenaries to protect children, Zammit keeps tabs on how many children die, and Duscher just wants to accept the warm embrace of death. So step through the front gates, realise none of the exhibits are anywhere near safe or secure, and take a journey through Jackson B. Baly’s very own: Dinosaur Park. Nuuh nuh nuuuuuuh nuh nuh, nuuh nuh nuuuuuuh nuh nuh, nuuuh nuh nuuuuh nuh nuh nuuuuuh nuuuuhhh nuh.Want to help fund a class action suit against Jackson? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help take him down. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30

In which our heroes will be there for you when the rain starts to pour, slap a reserved sign in front of an ugly orange couch, and drink far too much coffee while wondering who is objectively the best friend in F*R*I*E*N*D*S? In a process of elimination spanning several categories, we look at which F*R*I*E*N*D would dominate in a fight, who is arguably the best actual friend and unanimously agree that Ross is just the worst. Duscher tries to determine once and for all if Rachel and Ross were actually on a break, Zammit finds the ultimate woman in Monica, James goes in to bat for Joey’s kind-heartedness and Jackson just wants to make it through the episode without choking to death. It’s a case of keeping your F*R*I*E*N*D*S close and your F*R*E*N*E*M*I*E*S* closer, as we try to survive the episode without a marriage proposal from a dinosaur obsessed sad-sack.Want to help us get insurance to dance in fountains? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a dif

In which our heroes get exposed to some chemicals, don spandex HazMat suits and generally do whatever a spider can while wondering just how radioactive Spiderman is. We look at how dangerously potent Peter Parker’s bodily fluids are, which of Spiderman’s girlfriends are most susceptible to radiation poisoning and how dedicated some of Marvel’s villains truly are. James ponders how many deaths Tobey Maguire is responsible for, Zammit makes a horrifying correlation between Spiderman and SIDS, Mason calls out Peter Parker for being as selfish as Tony Stark and Duscher just wants to get a burger without double pineapple while he reads a comic. It’s an inevitable study in creepy crawlies and creepy teenage boys as we try to swat Peter Parker off the ceiling and end up covered in sticky web threads. Want to help us make our studio radioactive spider-proof? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in plugging up the glowing cracks in the walls.And

In which our heroes gather up the world’s greatest villains, try to see their inner good and flip the switch to see which bad guy would make the best good guy. We explore how sharks can solve any crime, the benefits of dance magic and that there are some viruses worth having. Jackson wants to waltz all his problems into a jail cell, Zammit reinvents Street Sharks, Duscher gets stressed out over movies (yet again) and James just wants monkeys to shine in this bright new future. So join us as we turn the world on it’s head as up becomes down, black becomes white and bad becomes good. Because sometimes the right man for the job is the wrong man. And also a shark.Want to help fund a reboot of Street Sharks!? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in this baby boy’s life.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least eighty-one books about r

In which our heroes gorge themselves on chocolate, press all the buttons in the Wonka-vator, get PTSD from the Boat Tunnel and are handed the keys to a chocolate factory, all while wondering if Willy Wonka knows how to run a business. We look at the nefarious secret life of Mr Wonka, the use of slave labour in exchange for cacao beans and try to figure out how to pronounce the word pygmy. Jackson has grave concerns for the health of Charlie Bucket, Mason thinks Willy Wonka is an evil genius who doesn’t understand reality, Duscher has no idea what an Oompa Loompa is and James just wants to defend his controversial decision to read books. It’s a twisted adventure full of booby traps and everlasting gobstoppers as we try to balance the expenses of the factory, but ultimately just get super pissed at Grandpa Joe for lying to everyone about being bedridden. What a crook, a cheat and a swindler. Good day!Want to help us prove that Willy Wonka is in fact a secret Nazi scientist? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspa

In which our heroes take a rocket to the JLA satellite, take one look at the original members, and wonder what the hell Batman is doing amongst an underwater king, an invulnerable alien and the literal god of war. Jackson doesn't believe protecting one city is impressive enough, Zammit misremembers the sound of music, Duscher likens Batman to Hawkeye, and Mason just thinks the JLA look like a bunch of bunklers. So apply to join the Justice League, watch out for opportune punch moments, and find out why batman has no right to complain about Gotham. Anyway you cut it, Batman already knows how to kill you.Want to help keep Batman occupied? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help fund crimes for him stop.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixty-seven books about creating a hostile workplace environment. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for m

In which our heroes join the Empire, check out the schematics for a new super weapon and witness a planet wide explosion as they start to question if the Death Star is really the best way to take out the Rebel scum. Join us as we discuss the Moff ranking system, the issue with Stormtrooper morale and Darth Vader's swimming trunks. Jackson thinks the Death Star is too big, Zammit is stressed about working for the Empire and Duscher just thinks he'd make the Grandest Moff. So shine your trooper helmet, climb into your Tie Fighter and get to work early, just because you work for the Dark Side doesn’t mean you have to evil about it.Want to help Grand Moff Duscher crowd fund the exhaust covering? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help prevent the wholesale slaughter of innocent government employees. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least forty-one boo

In which our heroes survive the initial onslaught, emotionally recover from yet another faked death and pause long enough to stop beating on a sentient room as they start to wonder if Charles Xavier really is a jerk. We once again wonder what kind of education Charles actually provides, how any of the X-Men can look each other in the eye, and try and figure out who bathes Professor X. Jackson wonders what happened to Mahogany Boy, James doesn’t want to go to a school where the principal can read your mind, Zammit once again shows off his encyclopaedic knowledge of Charles Xavier's transgressions and Duscher just wants to use Jean Grey like a canary down a coal mine. So develop a mutant ability, get enlisted in Charles never ending war against his siblings, and wish you'd chosen the Brotherhood instead. By gifted youngsters, Charles clearly means soldiers. Want to help fund a school that actually helps new mutants? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can provide a

In which our heroes eat after midnight, take a long bath and enjoy a frolic in the sun’s magnificent rays while wondering when can you feed a Mogwai? We discuss the arbitrary nature of midnight, how much of a wuss Gizmo is, and the amazing and ruthless nature of Mrs. Deagle. Jackson tries his hardest to connect Gremlins to the Alien franchise, Zammit shines a light on the potential secret history of World War II, and Duscher just doesn't understand how warfare works. Join us in an ill prepared adventure with the take away message that while the Chinese are clearly more responsible pet owners than us, they will never know the joy of inviting Corey Feldman over to help blend a Mogwai. So really, who’s the true winner of owning a sentient rat thing?Want to help bathe our pet Mogwai? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference with its gross matted fur.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.aud