Plumbing The Death Star

We did it. Five centuries of some of the worst podcasts anyone has ever produced. JD doesn’t think it’s that big a deal but Jackson wanted to celebrate the only way he know how: by watching the Phantom Menace (for maybe the first time) on a bus on his way to work. Now two little slave boys, one human and one foal, have big dreams in their little boy hearts of winning the biggest podrace this side of the Rim. It’s the eve of Boonta and Joel and Horse Joel must do their best to get out from under the oppressive ownership of a sick rock, convince the galaxies best known fry cook to sponsor them and acquire a podracer of their own by any means necessary. It’s the racing event of the season as rumour has it one team has an unlikely power source that may result in the best day podracing has ever seen.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

While reading too many Marvel Comics (especially the 1977 What If…? series for our bonus subscriber show What If...? where we pick up the slack left by Marvel writers to once again ask the important question ‘What if?’ (new episodes the first Saturday of every month (subscribe now to Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts or Bad Brain Boys+ directly from our website))) the boys have learnt far too much bullshit Marvel lore and are now left holding the Ultimate Nullifier and wondering if there’s any possible way to be responsible with this thing (they’re also wondering if they just fired it, but that’s a question they’ll never even think to ask). Ultimately the Ultimate Nullifier makes a bad tool that complicates the most basic of tasks and should only be used to Ultimate Nullify another Ultimate Nullifier.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Batman needs another little boy to help him fight crime and we know just the three little boys to help! But first we have some questions. The first being can we have a part-time job or do we get an allowance for being a good little boy? What’s the go with our current living parents and does it matter that we’re older than Bruce? Either way Jackson chooses to be an Oracle after he gets puffed doing two very slow and not good forward rolls, JD has the brilliant idea of painting a target on himself and Zammit takes no responsibility for the man he just murdered. So let’s load up the bat-computer with viruses from all these sweet free pornos, blow our secret cover by ordering too many ubereats to the bat-cave and distract Batman with this sweet bat-playlist we made him when he bat-fights bat-crime.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this very special episode of Plumbing the Death Star we talk about the very special movie Flash and are joined by very special guest James aka Mr Sunday Movies as we’re all hit with a very special lighting bolt that gives us very special powers, but mostly the power of be quick. Jackson passes on the dangerous knowledge that most people survive getting struck by lightning which has now set him on a dangerous life trajectory, Zammit lays down on a beach and eats all his stolen Coles chickens, JD commits the perfect crime and James tells Jackson he has to yell at children. So with our newfound powers let’s all mess with the multiverse, see how badly we can ruin a horses day and learn about the sperm knock-on effect. Remember kids, it’s not alternate realities, it’s just alternate cums.James probably hosts a podcast or whatever, but more importantly his wife, whose name is Claire Tonti, has an album out you can listen to right now! Matrescence is available on all good streaming platforms AND she’s going to be

The boys are joined by special guest James aka Mr Sunday Movies and oh no, have you seen the news? The humidity is rising, the barometer’s getting low and according to all sources at about half-past ten tonight, for the first time in history, it’s gonna start raining men! How will you survive the oncoming man storm? With little to no information on what caused said man storm the boys speculate on the nature of this man rain. Is it new men? A mass displacement? Or the global himbofication of all men? Zammit thinks it’s all a blood ritual by Mother Gia herself and has his eyes set for what he thinks is the ultimate goal, JD slanders Dennis Nedry to everyone’s dismay, Jackson goes on his little adventures and ends up with a scorpion wife and James once climbed Mt Kilimanjaro. Batten down the hatches, hope your wife doesn’t like her perfect man and prepare for the greatest cucking this generation has ever seen when this traveling man cloud comes to your town.James probably hosts a podcast or whatever, but more im

After being cryogenically frozen for several decades the boys have awoken in 2032 and need to shit real bad! Thankfully they still have stainless steel prison toilets for such an occasion. After scrolling through future google on their future phones while their sphincters slowly defrost they are presented with one of earth’s biggest mysteries. 3 shells. Stallone’s explanation is thoroughly examined as we all look at a diagram we hate and are perplexed to how Stallone thinks anyone is expected to pull shit out from ones own anus using two shells held like chopsticks. The future is covered in poopy, which probably explains all the germophobia. Our confidence is at an all time low as we’re all worried about passing the sniff test. Go on, give it a sniff! Is it clean?? No. It absolutely is not clean.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Once again the boys have found themselves in a sewer looking for clams but this time they’ve found some slopped up turtles and they appear to be growing up at an alarming rate! From teenage mutant toddler turtles to teenage mutant teenage turtles, the boys are taking it upon themselves to raise their new found turtle sons which inevitably ends up with the turtles being used in one of their harebrained schemes. Jackson wants them as goons for a security scam, Zammit wants to run a legitimate landscaping business and JD forgets his turtle sons are actually his tortoise sons. So inject us straight into your veins to get that feeling of blappiness and don’t trust anything Al Pacino tells you when you’re on a bus.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The boys watched Roger Rabbit and have questions. Does Toontown exist geographically? If we from ape, what toon from? Do they age? Can they only be killed by dip? Is it good to be pancaked? And many, many more. Once again featuring a gross misunderstanding of evolution, the boys come up with two competing theories. One being the popped boil theory and the other involving a literal magic pencil. Let us know what camp you fall in or perhaps you’re inclined to invoke the inter-dimensional interloper theory.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We know all you care about is nugs, chillin’ and grindage but we’ve gone and dug a hole in the ground and holy shit, we found a guy frozen in ice. Now how are we going to exploit this (Encino) man for financial gain or personal profit? While Dave thinks this thawed man will impress babes and he’ll be crowned prom king, we’ve got some bigger and better ideas. Zammit wants to take Johnny Caveman on a coming of age road trip to the Gold Coast, Jackson wants to keep digging and JD has a very quick get rich easy scheme. So let’s all stop being so crusty and start wheezin’ the juice bud-dy. Oooooooowwwwww!Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It would really suck if Superman peeled off the roof of the White House and stole the President and flew him in a figure 8 above the White House. What’s that? Superman peeled off the roof of the White House and stole the President and now he’s flying the President in a figure 8 above the White House? Doesn’t he know he’ll make the President dizzy! That’s one of the top 5 things you shouldn’t do to a President! Thankfully we have a Suicide Squad to save the day! Deadshot shot Superman once so surely he can do it again? Enchantress can maybe possess Superman but is this worse for humanity? Either way we have some harebrained schemes to save our beloved President from their dizzy fate from Doomsdaying the whole Squad, to pushing Harley off a building, to getting a gun that fires swords. Right now we have a very important mission and there are no bad ideas. Up to and including voting Killer Croc for president of New America.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co

JD and Jackson recently went on a trip to Sydney, leaving Zammit at home and bringing friend of the show Hayden Bleechmore! After seeing Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 in ultra 4D where they had their dick and nuts blown clean off, they had some questions about the High Evolutionary. Recorded live from the car on the drive home, the boys do their best to go over the High Evolutionary's plans, try to make the perfect being using the gills of mammalian sea creatures and the wheels of a car and make the argument that making meth is art. Safety first, so buckle up and take the passenger seat while JD drives us home as Hayden and Jackson bicker in the backseat. You best be on your best behaviour or he will turn this whole podcast around.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ruby Innes has stopped by the studio to look at fictional pets and discuss which one would be the worst to train. Jackson looks at the confusing world of Disney and the problems of owning a dog who is maybe a guy and having a guy friend who is maybe a dog, JD hates his quick rat pet, Ruby makes a compelling case for the world’s worst chef and Zammit plays it safe with a lasagne loving cat. It’s one for the ages as we ruin a Mega Drive while praising no fault divorce as two of the four hosts crack under pressure. You can follow Ruby on her twitter or see what she's written on Kotaku Australia.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The boys need some quick cash so hastily wrote “and also Sharks too” on their “will kill the following for $5” sign and as luck would have it the mayor of Amity Island was walking by with a huge Jaws problem! The only catch? They can’t shut down the beach and they’ve only got two days. Zammit’s plans quickly get away from him as dolphins start getting dressed up as sexy ladies, JD wants to fasten the effects of global warming and Jackson wants to go fishing with him as the worm. It’s Jaws v the boys as they cobble together harebrained scheme after harebrained scheme to get rid of this great white once and for all and earn that $5 (each tho, don’t you dare skimp on that extra tenner Mr. Mayor, we will cause a scene).Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The boys have decided that they could take on Eric, Billy Madison's nemesis, by taking Billy Madison's place in his Academic Decathlon. We present a lot of piss solutions to a big piss problem, play a simple game of 'pigs' to try and endear us to Veronica and burn our thumbs with hot sugar to impress the judges. We're all very confident we could beat a second team all-American Harvard track athlete, make the bold claim that we're at least as smart as a cat (if not smarter) and are all extremely confident we could body a bullet. So join the boys as we don't remember Shakespeare, shoehorn smut into a question about the Industrial Revolution and get taken down by our own hubris. Thanks Veronica for beating the shit out of us. PS Eric drinks his own pee.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mazel tov! It's a boy and what a boy indeed! Three proud dads are now given the momentous task of raising Franklin Richards, a boy who can do anything, be anything and change everything. Zammit immediatley gives everyone an unnecessary lore dump before they all wish they had one of those GTA V playing Nightcrawler babies instead, Duscher keeps panicking about puberty and Jackson just wants li'l Frankie to live his best life. So crack open a refreshing can of titty milk and join us in our chaotic journey of dadhood as we try to bargain with our boy to make Coco Pops healthy and then worry when he is a dog.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mamma Mia! The Boys broke into the Mushroom Kingdom and got their hands on some of those delicious Mario power-ups, now how will they use them for personal gain or financial profit? Zammit goes invincible to be a crash test dummy and entirely misses the point of ca rash test dummy, Jackson has pervert adventures and JD gets big to go after those high and mighty fire fighters. Join us as we eat those mushrooms and hope they tastes like spaghetti. We’re not saving a Princess because we’re too busy using these power-ups to fire a bunch of cannons into a belly, get stuck in a fridge or rule the free world as the biggest man possible.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To celebrate the success of Netflix’s hit series Wednesday, the boys imagine life as everyone’s favourite handservant Thing T. Thing! The live-action coming-of-age comedy series Wednesday sees everyone’s favourite maiden of the macabre attempt to master her emerging psychic ability, thwart a monstrous killing spree that has terrorised the local town, and solve the supernatural mystery that embroiled her parents 25 years ago - all while navigating her new and very tangled relationships of the strange and diverse student body. Fans and critics both agree that Jenna Ortega shines in the role as the titular Wednesday whose back must surely be hurting from single-handedly carrying this show! Ortega masterfully brings a touch of vulnerability and teenage angst to the stoic and deadpan character and really is a breath of fresh air to what is arguably a stinker of a show one of Netflix’s most popular shows! So what are you waiting for! Wednesday, streaming now exclusive to Netflix.Buy our terrible merch here and chec

We all know Bugs Bunny. A anthropomorphic grey hare famous for his relaxed and passive personality. A mischievous trickster, chewing on his signature carrot while sprouting his famous catchphrase "Eh, what's up, doc?”. Since his official debut in the 1940s Bugs has appeared in various short films, feature films, compilations, television series, music records, comic books, video games, award shows, amusement park rides, and commercials. When TV Guide compiled a list of the fifty greatest cartoon characters of all time as part of the magazine's 50th anniversary in 2002, Bugs Bunny was given the honour of Number One. As the editor stated “[He] is the best example...of the smart-aleck American comic. He not only is a great cartoon character, he's a great comedian. He was written well. He was drawn beautifully. He has thrilled and made many generations laugh. He is tops.” But that’s the public image. That’s what Bugs wants us to know. When it all comes down it, do we really know Bugs Bunny at all?Buy our terrible

Life as a superhero is often taxing, the hours are long and it sure can be lonely. Plus there’s only so much a single costumed vigilante can do! You can’t join a team because you’re a lone wolf and that would ruin your reputation. Having a partner doesn’t feel right to you as that implies the power dynamic is equal. If only there was some kind of solution where you, a fully grown man, could have a student-teacher relationship with some kind of youth so your authority is respected but you don’t have to deal with all that duty of care nonsense that would prevent you from using them as bait to attract you serial killing nemeses. Boy, do we have some great news! Introducing sidekick! All of the bond you’re craving without any of that pesky responsibility! Need a plucky teen to nimbly cut some wires of a bomb when your big, strong hands would be too strong and powerful to do so? Sidekick! Needs someone to stay behind to ensure the blast doors stay closed when the bomb goes off? Of course you’d do it, but your city

We’re joined by special guest Mia Moore to talk about the worst day to be Groundhog’d Day’d into! Zammit doesn’t understand travel time and runs into a lot of hurdles trying to ruin history, JD has a goal of becoming the news with his brand new “carton of cigarette challenge”, Mia doesn’t want to disappoint her 8 year old son on the day they go see Shrek 3 and Jackson just wants to be inside his mother. Listen to this one on repeat to really simulate being stuck in a time-loop and while you’re coming to grips with Jackson’s womb wants go and support Mia’s film Again Again on indiegogo! Just click the link or search for Again Again movie on google!Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.