#millennial

We’re back this week with a SUPER packed election episode. But first, Chris Rock took on the Academy for #OscarsSoWhite. Leo finally won an Oscar though, so… #progress? The #Millennial Confessional brings some exciting news, as well as questions about striking a work/life balance. The shocking results from Super Tuesday states reveal PR team telling us that the only person shocked by results is Marco Rubio, who is currently experiencing software difficulties and needs a reboot. BRB. What are the chances of a Sanders nomination? Improbable, but not impossible. This just in: Trump is no longer a joke. Stop laughing. No. Really… Stop. Chris Christie and the Republican Party Schism. No Context requires us to make Super Tuesday connections to songs about work and funerals. What? Hidden from the Headlines takes us to the Matrix.  In this week’s installment of After Dark: Will it ever be “cool” to act presidential again, or are we doomed to a century of racist sociopaths with bad combovers and multiple bankr

If it looks like an asshole and talks like an asshole, it's probably Sony. #FreeKesha gains some much-needed momentum as the embattled singer struggles to ditch a binding contract with her alleged rapist. Apple takes on the FBI in an epic David and Goliath showdown over privacy and business rights. A very special Photoshop challenge is issued. Sea levels are rising faster than previously believed, but the real challenge is convincing people that's even true. Hashtag SCIENCE, BITCH. More tragic gun violence to really put the shine on your day! Innocent bystanders in Kalamazoo, Michigan paid the price this week for our rampant obsession with guns. New Words: brought to you by the letter "A" for Andrew. Or anus. We prove we're down with the kids by guessing what all these new hip words mean. Shit is on fleek. Or something. Surprise, bitch! exposes one listener's chronic meth addiction.  In this week's installment of After Dark: TRIGGER WARNING. We discuss the struggle of quarter-life crises and how common it

Welcome back, sycophants, and enjoy this week's dose of gluten-free headlines. Associate Producer's Choice wants to know in what ways is the U.S. worse off because of Obama, or in spite of him. THE 8TH HARRY POTTER BOOK GUYS!!! IT'S HAPPENING!!! Except not because it's a fucking script adapted by someone not named J.K. Rowling. But fine, we're still excited. The elephant in the room comes out. In fact, we dress it up and give it a name: Antonin Scalia. How will Scalia's death impact upcoming Supreme Court decisions, the election, and Mitch McConnell's credibility? Trick question. Mitch McConnell has no credibility. Devil's Advocate asks us to argue against better sense and judgment by putting ourselves in the shoes of our beloved Senate Majority Leader. Surprise, bitch! takes us to Nebraska, where Lily speaks on behalf of the whitest state in the union. And this week on After Dark: In this special installment, we bring on three Patrons who add their own opinions to our conversation about the generationa

​Episode 5 starts by revealing episode 4's secrets, ideas for Valentine's Day, and thoughts on the Super Bowl non-controversy controversy. ​News kicks off with questioning… the news. What makes New Hampshire's primary important? Is it worth the media circus? Why is it so God damned white? ​We sum up Twitter's new changes in 140 characters or less: dumb. Thanks to the Supreme Court, we can't have nice things. Like cleaner energy. Or climate change policy. Or the fucking rule of law. Hidden from the Headlines throws some much-deserved shade at President Obama, the fallen king of (certain) civil liberties. ​Valentine's Day Special: the hosts bring on their boyfriends for The Newlywed Game, wherein we learn some strange things about each other and our taste in men. No, we don't know why we agreed to this.

Andrew humbles himself before God and man over last week's poor audio quality. We forgive you, Andrew, but Jesus doesn't. "Freedom" is spelled c-a-u-c-u-s if you're an Iowan or clinically insane person. We jump right into the goods with an overview of why, God, why do we do this to ourselves? How did we get here. Why don't we have nice things. The Iowa results, why they're pretty over-hyped, and our thoughts on what's coming up next in this circus of an election year. An AP Choice-Palooza brings up several new ideas for "Wait But Why?", questions whether we'd have sex with our clones (?!), and asks how the fuck we can make election day a national holiday. (Answer: Assert dominance. Stop showing up to work.) Hidden from the Headlines: Fake Out Edition gets nice and weird, with two real stories and one fake one. Listen closely and guess which lying piece of shit is the intruder. Surprise, BITCH! finally brings us Tiara after 493 unsuccessful calls. Thanks for being a team player, Tiara. And in this week's Aft

Note: There is an issue with Andrew's voice on this recording that we were unable to correct. We apologize for the issue and promise it won't happen again! Andrew was almost murdered by a serial killer last week, so this episode is brought to you by paranoia: saving your life, one gut instinct at a time. Divinely inspired during his near-death experience, Andrew introduces a new game designed specifically to make the other hosts cringe. Sarah Palin is bringing stupid back with her formal endorsement of Potato Face, and we're all mystified as to how the GOP let it get to this point. Associate Producer's Choice asks us: is the world really doomed? Or are we just cynics? The answer is yes. News tells the prophecy of a world engulfed in flame and shadow, so yeah I guess we all gonna die. If you care about your sushi (or your oceans), you'll start demanding hunting moratoriums on local fish populations cause they're dying too. Look, it's a party. I have no friends. You have no friends. And Facebook deceives us

Andrew is gearing up for an awful storm in New York. Alan Rickman has passed away. It makes us wonder: How many people are hiding their cancer? And why? ­The Iowa caucus is getting close! We look at the frontrunners (lolTrump) and a Sarah Palin endorsement. “Wait, what’s a caucus?” asks Denmark resident Selina. ­Listen feedback addresses uncut dicks and Natalie Cole (— sorry that these two had to share a sentence). ­Who’s the one person we absolutely dread dying? And what the hell will happen when Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling dies? The Guest Game: How will Selina respond to out of context, inside jokes about #Millennial? Flint, Michigan’s water situation is seriously awful. How could this happen in America? Did You Know? Wait… But Why? returns, and we all feel passionate about the issue of animal cruelty. Laura announces the #Millennial Book Club!

Season 2 of #Millennial has arrived! The four hosts survived their New Years celebrations (thanks in part to staying home), and one of us became a mage. What’s a mage? Speaking of partying, someone in this episode is secretly drinking. Who is it? Take a guess and we’ll share the answer on 2x02. The new year ushers in big new changes for our Patreon. New benefits and milestones are now available for those who pledge $2/month, and we’re now working towards BIG changes for our flagship Patreon feature, After Dark. Lean more by clicking here. The new year has also ushered in new laws across America. We discuss a few of them, including an official state pie for Illinois! New game: Wait But Why? In the premiere installment, we discuss circumcision. WHY?! Quickfire News touches on Al Qaeda’s Oregon affiliate, David Bowie, China’s animal-cloning factory, and (sigh) Kim Davis. Obama got hard on gun control over our break, and we’re getting hard in return. New game: #Millennial for America. Laura and M

It's the end of the year and the end of our first season -- so it's time to celebrate!  The hosts all have drinks to enjoy… but some couldn't resist starting to drink before we hopped onto Google Hangouts. Uh oh. Star Wars: The Force Awakens has arrived, and for the most part, we love it. Don't worry, we don't share any spoilers. What are we up to this holiday break? It's time to open our Secret Santa gifts! News: The Harry Potter stage play has cast a black Hermione, and healthcare costs are on the rise. Since we're doing the show live on Google Hangsouts, we welcome listeners to the show! Y'all are fun to talk to. We round out the show with a few games: Devil's Advocate (in which we critique #Millennial!), Google That Shit: Holiday Edition, and Who Said It? Thank you ALL for a wonderful first year! We'll be back on January 13 with our season 2 premiere!

DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN DUUUUUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN!!! If you knew that was the Star Wars theme song, congratulations on reaching Level 10 Master Nerd status. Seriously, we're PUMPED to be visiting a galaxy far, far away again, and the new Fantastic Beasts trailer is the cherry on our movie madness sundae. "$5 to take a shit, please." Words you could be hearing on your next flight? So says Congressman Dan Lipinski (D-IL), whose "Comfortable and Fair Flights Act of 2015" is designed purely to forbid airlines from charging for bathroom access. Woodland, North Carolina shows us why we can't have nice things when people think solar energy is a finite resource. What the what? The Paris Climate Deal is official, and it relies heavily on voluntary commitments-- is there still cause to celebrate? Hidden From the Headlines reveals prejudices against women in Israel as Jennifer Lawrence posters are torn down and vandalized. Question of the Week: Fast food. Where would you eat the rest of your life, if you were forced

As the season finale gets closer and closer, we get a little nostalgic and invite ex-host Micah to join us for a very Trump-filled episode. The holiday season is about gift-giving (and nothing else) but sometimes it's a little stressful to find the perfect item for a loved one. So, the hosts have a few suggestions to help you out this festive season. We take a moment in the show to discuss the horrible mass shooting that happened in San Bernardino, California. The four of us are just so fed up with having to hear our politicians give their “thoughts and prayers” instead of getting off their asses and doing something! Andrew pledges that gun control is going to be his main focus in 2016 and isn’t afraid to be a dick about it! Jimmy Carter is cancer-free! Now, the 91-year-old former president has his whole life ahead of him. STD! Yeah, you know me! There’s this sexy new STD that’ll surely make the ladies bleed and gents cry (down there). Beijing has gone full “red alert” on their ongoing smog proble

Are we still doing this? Yes? Okay. This week's episode kicks off with a Secret Santa announcement that's going to have all four of us at the top of this year's Naughty List. Quickfire News takes us through the week's most gripping headlines 2 minutes at a time, wherein we try to wrap our heads around the cowardly Planned Parenthood shooting, Jeb Bush's dwindling credibility, and why ISIS fucks with ducks. #SueMe Andrew picks songs of dying animals screeching in foreign languages for our "No Context" game. Because biodiversity and clean air are about to become unicorns, we explain the climate change conference happening in Paris right now, and why, please God, it needs to include binding commitments. "The dress is white," they said. "Trust us," they said. In this week's Surprise, Bitch! we meet a listener in Chicago. Don't climb into Andrew's bed. Or let his dog lick your face. This show concludes with our favorite listener Confessionals, which seem to mirror our own secrets eerily well. And in this week'

It’s a holiday week here in the United States, so the hosts are thinking less about ISIS and more about FUN in the 42nd edition of #Millennial. Congratulations to our raffle winners who’ve won a free month of Patreon for supporting us on iTunes! With Thanksgiving on the horizon we share family dinner horror stories from our listeners. We pray none of you have similar experiences this Thanksgiving. Black Friday is also upon us: Are any of us participating in the festivities? A bit of entertainment news: HBO is messing with us concerning the Jon Snow debate, and Mockingjay, Part 2 opened at the box office to a series low. Games games games! In “Who Said It?” Laura asks us to guess which legendary figureheads said weird-ass things. We play another round of Host Confessionals, in which the four of us unveil new secrets from our past (or present). Note to self: Don’t give (spoiler) any dolls this Christmas. We address a few fun questions from our listeners, including one in which we figure out which

To our French listeners and friends: we know you've heard so many condolences over the past week, so we hope ours don't sound rote or insincere. We hope you believe us when we tell you that our hearts bleed for you. We were nauseated by the unconscionable attacks orchestrated by those psychofuck pigs. But if there's one thing our shared history has taught us, it's that France is built of stronger stuff than anything-- anyone-- that has ever attacked it. You were the United States' first ally, before there even was a United States. We will always be yours. Vive la France.   In this week's episode of #Millennial: We take some time to deconstruct the heinous terrorist attacks in Paris last Friday. The four of us were in constant communication while the tragedy unfolded, and we share our thoughts from that night and our hopes for the coming weeks. Somewhat despicably, 28 United States governors (and counting) are now refusing to accept Syrian refugees within their states' borders, citing the fact that one of th

#Millennial turns 40 (weeks) in this mid-life crisis of an episode. Shooting the Shit opens the show with a new raffle opportunity for anyone who wants to leave an iTunes review and win a month of free Patreon. (After you've reviewed, enter here: https://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/c46bdea41/ ) The birds and the bees are important, and not just because they serve as convenient euphemisms for sex. They also pollinate our food, which is kind of, somewhat important. But the USDA is allegedly punishing their top scientist for publishing a report on how insecticides are killing them all off. Metrojet 9268 was a confirmed case of ISIS terrorism, and CNN is a confirmed case of journalistic failure. Their fear-mongering worked on at least one of us. SeaWorld announces a change to their usual Orca whale routine, but don't worry, they aren't changing the fact they're assholes. The U.S. comprises just 5% of the world's population, but 25% of the world's prisoners. But last week, the Justice Department released 6

It’s an Andrew-less episode this week. Buckle up, this is gonna be a rough ride. Our friend John Thrasher joins us - check out his podcast, Currently!  And in this week’s After Dark: A viral video of a school resource officer beating a teenage girl apparently isn’t evidence enough for some that we have a police brutality problem. We also can’t stop talking about Paul Ryan. GTFO our show, Paul. Laura and Matt are subjected to a round of Devil’s Advocate in which we learn that property damage is to be expected from UN staff and the average Joe doesn’t really need privacy anyway. Drunk or Kid features hair cutting, snot, marshmallows, and…. a strange liquid concoction.

​Welcome back, sycophants. Episode 38 opens with a quick recap of the presidential election, wherein we bemoan the loss of both Joe Biden's and (probably) Jeb Bush's campaigns.​ Murdering toddlers: not as clear-cut of an issue as you might think. News kicks off with a warning for the small percentage of the population that eats meat. Harry's back! And not just Harry, but his son, Albus Severus Sirius James Carrot McNugget Toyota Steve Potter Jr. too! Hidden from the Headlines reveals historians recently discovered the origins of the King James Bible, and with it, perhaps a bit of realism about how best to interpret the Word of God. Surprise, BITCH! welcomes Paige and her deathly fear of sidewalks. Halloween inspires us to take a look at the history of the holiday, and more importantly, our own creepy-scary stories. And in this week's After Dark: Andrew asks us what other babies we'd kill, because why not. Our funniest Halloween stories reveal a lot about our childhoods and our friendships Somehow this s

The new Star Wars movie is on the way, and Andrew reminds us all why it's important to stick a light-saber up your butt. Also: ​Congratulations on your hot new Prime Minister, Canada! Speaking of elections, we recap last week's Democratic debate and fight over who won versus who only appeared to win. Listener feedback reveals our listeners hate us. And this week's news kicks off with some gay shit. Why is everyone coming out over Facebook? Is there something about cat memes that evokes sexual empowerment in you people? Everything's bigger in Texas, including the sexism. Lawmakers in the state just banned taxpayer funding to Planned Parenthood and we… still don't get it. Surprise, bitch! is a miss then a hit that takes us right on back to Canada. And in this week's installment of After Dark: On the heels of all the Planned Parenthood controversies, the girls seek to dispel some common myths about the vagina and its health challenges. Buckle up. This is going places. Andrew squirms his way through a discu