Wringham & Godsil's Alphabites

In which Rob frightens Dan with his ideas for a death-based advent calendar; we educate the public about safe sex (at last!); market Dan’s new “splat mat” and Rob’s new “Jizzel”; wrongly predict that next week will see the first ever resuscitation of a cryogenically-frozen head; discuss living hams, psycho milkies, poisoned yakults, sliced bear faces, chapatti masks, murdered Josephs, nonchalant corpses; and family-sized telepathic bacteria dinners.

In which we celebrate Dan’s recent wedding and the near-death experience at the reception; ruminate about Max Schreck’s smelly wee; make a long-awaited return to our Urinal Fly efficiency debate; consider the mechanics of The Rapture (as presented by Kilroy); debunk all garlic-based superstitions; and lament Dr. Beeching’s failure to close Highley railway station. This podcast also features gourmet tramps; indoor tramps; tramp restaurants; and spruced-up pissers.

In which we podcast from a mini cooper outside of Dan's house in Shropshire; provide a helpful alarm clock message for our dedicated listeners; discuss how Jack the Ripper might have used women's breasts for a pillow; weigh up the merits of invisibility and flight; and consider how Beyonce Knowles ascertains whether things are Bootlicious or not.

In which we podcast live from the anonymity of a motorway service station, fuelled by sushi and 69p Tesco Value zinc batteries; we discuss public toilet politics; correct Dan's misinterpretation of the Jesus resurrection story; promote a new kidney stone-giving soft drink; prematurely leak news of our possible Edinburgh Fringe show; debate Easter egg injustice; and Rob reminieces about the time he rode upon the ant from Honey I shrunk the Kids.

In which we discuss how we met; review some of Rob's early stand-up material; question the American prejudice against short men; celebrate Rob's return the UK; brainstorm some future podcast features; and fondly reminice about Dan's terrifying experience on a burning airplane.

In which we discuss all the lies that are our lives; the biggest whoppers we've ever told; a British umbrella company called Poppins and Cobblepot; scare Dan with some Cockney God impressions and celebrate our last podcast for the forseeable future.

In which we engineer a spooky Halloween special by talking about our favourite scary movies of yesteryear; Rob's review of spooky Mr Quint from 'The Turn of the Screw'; and Dan's lack of experience in the horror movie genre.

In which Rob quizzes Dan over his disproportionate toilet roll consumption; the boys discuss whether celebrity is for them; how Michael Jackson dealt with his fame; and whether the local government in Dudley would consider erecting a Wringham and Godsil statue in their town centre.

In which we enjoy a departure from our usual crude humour in favour of a frank and balanced discussion about vegetarianism and the problems of eating meat: a vegetarian of nine years and an omnivore former butcher discuss the merits of vegetarianism and Graham Hill's 'Weekday Veg' system.

In which we relate a 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'-style event in Chinatown; review the rubbish new film version of Kurt Vonnegut's 'Harrison Bergeron'; worry about Dan's radically changing policies concerning switching off his house lights; discuss how Rob enjoys 'Being John Malkovich' but not John Malkovich; and ask if a segment of the podcast can truly be Dan's or if he's just a guest on 'The Robert Wringham Show'.

In which we're joined by a 50lb pumpkin; discuss the ethics of a Michael Jackson Halloween costume; Dan apologises for all of his racism in previous podcasts; we offer to produce some official Wringham and Godsil masks for Halloween; we invite you to a Christmas Eve podcast convention in Dudley; and Rob pays tribute to his oldest friend, Mr. Parry Pants.

In which Dan takes over as the funny one; we take a trip down memory lane by remembering our old school teachers; discuss our trek up to Saint Joseph's Oratory; and wonder why our friend Fiona has taken to carrying a squash around.

In which we remember the time we met Orange Mark from the British Comedy Guide; argue about the efficacy of the 'urinal fly' at Amsterdam Schipol airport (see www.urinalfly.com); the merits of sitting down to pee; the worrying design of pregnancy test kits; the freeing of the Chilean miners; and why dogs eat their own turds.

In which we celebrate Thanksgiving; write our own jokes for Penguin biscuits; confuse Eminem for 1990s youth TV hero Captain Planet; and send out the comedy police to arrest the real police.

In which we appeal to our listeners to give us more iTunes reviews; discuss Rob's ideas for television programmes including a show in which Jeremy Kyle lives the life of a diva; casually mention Stewart Lee's high praise of Rob's work in his latest book; and euologise Bob Monkhouse in the only way we know how.

In which we celebrate our recent four-star reviews at the iTunes Store; revel in Rob's recent being compared to Adam Buxton; bore the audience with an abridged history of 'Star Trek'; offer an update on yesterday's 'Letterland' discussion; review Dan's fourth day in Montreal; and wonder why Wringham & Godsil's iTunes fans also downloaded Mark Kermode.

In which we discuss the long-anticipated post-apocalyptic sequel to the 'Letterland' educational storybooks; look at our oposite tastes in food; discuss the logic of acquired tastes; and analyse if changing a story for comic effect is lying.

In which we make a glorious podcast comeback from the Canadian city of Montreal; talk like Bob Dylan; remember Dan's nemesis, Mr. Sanga; and share the various interesting French words we've learned.

In which we eat crisps; sing some of the hymns from our revolting Protestant upbringings, list the contents of Rob's fridge; and discuss Dan's complex litter-related ethics.

In which we drink tea like the tea-swilling pigs we are; lament Dan's marital breakup and complain about the sodding, bastarding snow.