He Just Loves The Hallmark Channel

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after a few weeks away, and have a lot to catch up on: The passing of Polly Holiday and Robert Redford! The marriage of Oliver North and Fawn Hall! The Rapture! Then Kurt has some news about a potentially controversial acting role for Blac Chyna (will the Rotten Tomatoes score work against it?). Plus, the guys get hitched to Hallmark’s The Groomsmen: First Look, the first in a trilogy of movies about three Philadelphians that don’t have Philly accents! It’s also nice to see Hallmark nodding at shying away from divorce, and leaning into showing the couples actually getting to know each other. Will the guys watch the rest of the movies in this trilogy? Yes, and hopefully their new co-host Lamb Chop will have some opinions, too!   Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Les, Kurt, and Jason convene to catch Les (and maybe you) up on what’s been happening in pop culture while he’s been in Sweden. Les has a slightly aggressive nicknames for Jason and Kurt, so Jason gets overly aggressive while Kurt wisely avoids what could be a trap. Les is upset about the new Liam Neeson and Pam Anderson development, Kurt shares how Blac Chyna really made her money on OnlyFans, and Jason shares an epic clip of Jamie Lee Curtis on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. So put on your Butt Juice Underwear and chow down on some Dolly Parton Cheesecake! Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back, and Kurt announces he’s about to do something to upset Les: he plans to do a show ON book. Ultimately, Les thinks it’s acceptable, but Jason thinks it may be a sex cult. Jason is quite confused, though, about this week’s Blac Chyna / Tokyo Toni news about Finesse2Types feuding with 50 Cent (or something like that). Plus, June Squibb is headed to Broadway, and both Lifetime and Hallmark are doing layoffs! Despite the layoffs, Lifetime delivered a solid move with “I’ll Never Let You Go.” Much to Kurt’s chagrin, it features an often shirtless antagonist (no complaints from Les or Jason, though), who is clingy AF in spite of the fact that the woman who had the affair with him may very well just be bad in bed while her boss is very definitely bad at business. If you’re doing M*lly while searching for airport gl*ry h*les, then this movie may be for you!   Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Les, Kurt, and Jason are celebrating… healthy prostates (and Jason’s Birthday)! Blac Chyna is celebrating a healthy split from her fiancé. And the guys are collectively celebrating the budding romance of Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson! But, there’s thing not being celebrated: the Hallmark Movie Moriah’s Lighthouse. Despite the presence of Luke Macfarlane, this movie is a snooze fest filled with a bunch of likeable people that needed a better plot onscreen rather than the plot that happened offscreen in the past in a dungeon. With no Light Bright, no Lesbianism, and no consequences for smiley faces, this movie will stop you up like two loaves of bread.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after a few weeks away, and felt it was important to honor the recently deceased Michael Madsen with a SyFy Channel (possibly) movie called Shark Season that ended up on Lifetime retitled as Deep Blue Nightmare. But first, Les has stories about his time in Chicago and about his new Jackie Collins tattoo! Plus, Kurt’s Blac Chyna reports who Tokyo Toni called “a serious zoo animal.” Then, it’s time to dive into the Deep Blue Nightmare where WE ARE THE SHARK in that we are just treading water watching and waiting for something to happen. The only thing Michael Madsen is watching are his cue cards, and the only thing the Navy guy is watching is new patterns of whale carcasses.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Les, Kurt y Jason regresan después de la aventura europea de Jason, así que, por supuesto, ¡Les abrió el programa en español! Jason habla de su amor por Londres (y Titanique y Dua Lipa en el estadio de Wembley), ¡y Kurt tiene una gran noticia sobre Blac Chyna! Después, llega la hora de ver "To Barcelona, ​​With Love" de Hallmark, la primera de una serie de dos partes que se arruina por completo (en cuanto a la trama) por los incesantes anuncios de la segunda parte, en parte porque ya no existe el cable codificado. ¿Está nevando en Barcelona? En este episodio, descubrirás por qué nieva en Los Ángeles, por qué Nico (probablemente) llora y por qué deberías contestar el teléfono diciendo "Lauren Tewes".   Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after Jason's European adventure, so of course Les opened the show in Spanish! Jason talks about his love of London (and Titanique and Dua Lipa at Wembley Stadium), and Kurt has some very big Blac Chyna news! Then it's time to watch Hallmark's To Barcelona, With Love, a movie that i

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back to talk about the biggest stories of the week, the protests in Los Angeles and Mariah Carey making a surprise appearance at The Eagle (you’ll never think of the song “Hero” in quite the same way). Plus, Les tells us about his experience at an official Hallmark FYC event and Kurt has big Blac Chyna news! Then it’s time to head to the farm in Lifetime’s “A Kidnapping in Amish Country” which features an epically bad beard, a villain whose nastiness has nothing to do with the plot of this movie, and a very considerate car thief. It may be idolatrous to categorize your dolls by their dress color, but it is not idolatrous to choose between a beej and a finger.      Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Les, Kurt, and Jason have been MIA for a month, so Elsbeth got on the case to find out where they’ve been (Bikini Katie says Hi to Kurt!). After celebrating the birth of Blac Chyna, the guys take a look at CBS’s Elsbeth. After Les has been singing the praises of the lady detective, he finally asked/forced Kurt and Jason to watch an episode featuring a Lifetime-esque black hoodie AND Hallmark-esque fake royalty. And a transnational terror cell of princesses. And least Elsbeth is rave ready at a moment’s notice.   Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com 

Les, Kurt, and Jason fall into one of 3 distinct categories of people for this week’s movie: podcasters, people in an open MRI, and people in assisted living, huzzah! But the guys would rather talk about other things like Tokyo Toni’s 5 (or is it 6) marriages, and her ex John E. Depth. Mr. Depth may be poking at Les’ opening at Circus of Books (but not in the same way Maya Angelou poked Jason on Facebook). The guys do eventually talk Hallmark’s Signed, Sealed, and Delivered: To the Moon and Back which is apparently part of a series of movies that they have somehow never heard of (despite the series’ existence since 2014)… and they were not impressed despite the presence of Gregory Harrison and Eric Mabius. But when you have a bunch of seemingly coked-up postal workers who are DRUNK with power and Yoo-hoo (but not mimosas), all you get is some genuine government corruption and waste and some misguided advice from Kurt about where to defecate.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagr

Les, Kurt, and Jason finally start recording after Les is distracted by husbands who hate their actor wives. Then we learn that Kurt wants to give the White Lotus lady boy speech at his class reunion and Les bout a book about veganism autographed by Linda Blair in the 90’s. Plus Jason questions why there is Blac Chyna news about why she doesn’t need to share news about herself. Then, it’s time to go down into the airtight bunker of Lifetime’s Sins of My Husband. Is the Park Ranger Academy for the Dramatic Arts handing out a bunch of PhD’s during this movie? Hell yes, and one of them is going to a Coolio-quoting gay Bela Legosi and his crank!   Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Les, Kurt, and Jason finally start the show on their fourth try only to immediately get sidetracked talking about Haley Joel Osment’s arrest and Jason’s VERY unpopular opinions about The Breakfast Club. Then Kurt reveals that he’s made some progress with his quest to get Natalia Grace on the show (something Les is fully onboard with, too). In Blac Chyna news, Tokio Toni really just wants to make some beats, so she opens up her home and it doesn’t end well. Then, it’s time to set the table for Hallmark’s Hearts Around the Table: Kiki’s Fourth Ingredient, a movie which doesn’t feature Edith from All and the Family or Weezie from the Jeffersons but does feature Natalie from The Facts of Life (Mindy Cohn). Have yourself a snack, whether that’s Kurt’s Tater Tot Casserole, some disgusting chocolate zucchini muffins, or some popcorn immediately after giving yourself a manicure.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok

Les, Kurt, and Jason haven’t stopped referencing the Hulu limited series Good American Family about the family that adopted Natalia Grace, so this week they decided to actually watch an episode for the podcast! But first, Les started texting EVERYONE to let them know about his perfect colon (obviously), and Kurt has some Blac Chyna news… as well as some Donny Most news! Plus, Jason vision boards his dream lineup of guests for the podcast: an episode featuring Blac Chyna, Natalia Grace, and the Pornhub math guy. Then it’s time to spill some seed, rock out to Hey Soul Sister, and meet a young Zelda Rubinstein in the first episode of Good American Family. Let’s just say the title is presumptious. But what the show may lack in “good execution” it makes up for with the speed of Florence Griffith Joyner, and the strength of Bam Bam Rubble doing parkour whilst eating pancake burritos on the beach.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofha

Les, Kurt, and Jason start things off from a tense place because Les was not prepared for what he’d experienced watching Hulu’s “Good American Family” about the Natalia Grace / Zelda Rubenstein saga (which should have starred June Squibb). Then Kurt has Blac Chyna news about her giving back after the Eaton Fire… but Jason questions exactly WHAT she (and the charity and Access Hollywood) are actually doing to actually give back (nobody knows). Then it’s time to walk the aisle with Lifetime’s My Husband’s Seven Wives which, according to the movie, opens a Pandora’s box of bigamy. Suze Orman Tip: Don’t have so many wives), but DO have access to a library that abruptly closes but is somehow always open.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Rachel Leigh Cook, Jackie Weaver, and Judy Kain Merge with Charles Dickens, Charles Darwin, and Charles Barkley to Form Sisterhood, IncLes, Kurt, and Jason, quite inexplicably, forgot to talk about June Squibb on the Oscars, but do take a second to talk about Jason’t Hairy Sussex. Then, Kurt’s nightmares are haunted by smart little precocious girls thanks to Ellen Pompeo and Mark Duplass and Jason is thoroughly confused and intrigued by the animated movie about Charles Darwin, Jesus, and a (talking?) cat. Then it’s time to get into Hallmark’s Sisterhood, Inc. staring Rachel Leigh Cook, Jackie Wagner, and a twink but has nothing to do with joining a convent but is so efficiently filmed that it also could be used as foreign propaganda, B-roll for the show Severance, and effective footwear advertising.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.co

Les, Kurt, and Jason are joined by friend of the pod Jason Dubray of The Shelf Shedding Movie Show podcast (@the_shelf_shedding_movie_show), and the guys all have OPINIONS about The Academy Awards (but somehow neglected to talk about the fantastic June Squibb bit). Blac Chyna has been sober for 900 days, and that leads to a discussion about apps for tracking ones sobriety. Les saw a public proposal (gasp) at The Eagle (double gasp) in front of a crowd that was there to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race (triple gasp). Then it’s time to go down the rabbit (K) hole that is Held Hostage in My House, a 2024 movie that aired on Lifetime in Canada starring Amy Smart, Billy Zane, Ne-Yo, Greer Grammer, and a bunch of ants. So many ants. The main takeaway from the movie: there’s a kids version of Uber. Don’t forget to drop your hobo dinner recipes into the comments.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Les, Kurt, and Jason were ready to rub the lamp, throw a coin in a fountain, or blow out a candle to conjure up SOMETHING from this week’s movie, Hallmark’s The Wish Swap, but so far they haven’t had any traction. Blac Chyna is getting traction for an appearance on Piers Morgan’s show, and Maya Rudolph is getting an apology from Kurt if Les and Jason have any say! Then it’s time to wish that something happens in The Wish Swap, but the movie can’t even produce simple details like a town where the movie is set, the last name of the host of a wildly popular television show, or an explanation as to why this show had no live audience. This would have benefitted tremendously from a good dose of Aunt Gert, but instead there’s a lassoing at a farm montage that even Les couldn’t get on board with. Somebody should have wished for another pass at the script.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back with another episode and Les and Jason are happy to find out that Kurt has finally seen Wicked… until he shares his less than favorable opinion of the movie. Then, the Blac Chyna Report turns into a theology lesson… which itself turns into a deep dive into the #FreeWendyWilliams movement. Then, it’s time to get Trapped in the Spotlight, a Lifetime movie that Jason believes is the dumbest movie they’ve ever watched for the podcast (and he loved it). In addition to the long-overdue return of chloroform, this movie has perfect hairstyle that Les may start rocking soon, and an architectural design that disregards the sound design needs of a recording studio in favor of lots of reflective glass and places to chain people up. If you’re a fan of hidden messages that can can be easily seen in plain sight, then fire up your Microsoft Zune before Kurt gets cancelled.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallma

Les, Kurt, and Jason are sweet on this week’s Valentine's Day movie for successfully breaking from the typical Hallmark formula in so many ways. But first, TheGrapeJuice.net is your new second favorite source for Blac Chyna news (after this podcast), and they know that Tokyo Toni is stirring it up with GloRilla. Then, the guys hop in the (not) Uber of An Unexpected Valentine. This movie doesn’t just extend Lacey Chabert’s reign as the queen of Hallmark, it solidifies it even while straying from the norms: the entire movie takes place on a single day, in a big city, showing us in real time how the couple falls for each other. Grab your chocolate purse and be ready to accept the proposal before being mesmerized by fireworks.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Les, Kurt, and Jason are amping up for Oscar season by discussing more of the nominated movies they’ve seen… and this offering from Lifetime. But first, Blac Chyna is upset with Tristian Thompson referring to Dream as his daughter (which seems even more insane choking someone with a charging cable. Then, the guys get in the sandbox (figuratively, there definitely was no sandbox in this movie) to discuss Lifetime’s My Sister’s Serial Killer Boyfriend. Even if you’re duped by a Danny J. Boyle, you’ll immediately spot that this features graduate-level work from the Park Ranger Academy of the Dramatic Arts that may finally solve why the cops in Lifetime movies never want to do their jobs: because they dumped after falling in love from bathroom sex.    Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Les, Kurt and Jason are back to check in with each other because there’s been a lot going on… and because Les and Kurt finally saw Demi Moore’s face in her butt (because they saw The Substance). If the same thing happened to Kurt, he thinks a dermatologist may want Kurt to explain why it happened… but Jason thinks that would most certainly be the dermatologist’s job. Then the guys dream cast that the perfect face talking from our butts on this should should be Blac Chyna, who thinks that Cardi B should be talking of HER butt when it comes to Offset. Then, the guys are ready to talk about the 2020 Netflix movie Holidate. Les picked the movie thinking it would be very much in the wheelhouse of this podcast, but it turns out that Holidate is a broad hard R romantic comedy in which we get to see Kristen Chenoweth play very much against type, a father daughter dance at a wedding done to a very inappropriate song choice, and some very unnecessary bowel movement sound effects. This movie did not (despite some confus